Staying In

[Delta40]

Just once a python coiled
its way around
my thoughts
till my social compass cracked.
You're free it hissed
as I tumbled southward where
beautiful fairies dance
under lanterns and fireflies.

I asked if now was the time
to shave my head and tell my Mum
Good gracious no! said one
and twirled me round and round
on a toadstool till my true self
was shaken free when the Mardi Gras
float called for me.

I unfurled my glittering wings
and suckled on the nectar of being till dawn.
Homeward bound I struggled across
the countless haunting mountains
I was destined to climb
in my miserable lifetime
Like a bleating lamb I went inside
and never came out.

[Jerrybaldy]

Sounds like the hallucinogenic cries of a very tortured soul Delta. I liked the compass and Mardi gras float metaphors.
Written like a true child of the sixties :)
I hope you escape those haunting mountains.

[AuntShecky]

"I wonder what she's on."

There's much going on in this piece.Though written colloquially, almost humorously, this piece shows the risk of hallucinogenic (sp?) substances, intended to be temporary, leaving permanent effects-- "staying in." That phrase has a double-meaning as well-- being "grounded" in both the punitive and the sensible senses played off against the illusion --"you're free!"-- among psychotropic visions.

One thing many of us LitNutters fail to do in both our writing and our comments is to pay attention to the "sonics" of a piece. This one makes the most of alliteration to contrast the shades of meaning, real life depicted with the hard "c" sounds of "coiled, compass, cracked"
while the trio of "twirled/toadstool/true self" softens the surrealism. The "m" sounds in the closing lines "lamb/climb/lifetime" are as soothing as a lullaby in a metaphor suggesting a state of mind that is anything but soothing or lulling.

[Delta40]

Thank you both for your comments. The work was inspired by a middle aged closet lesbian.

[Jerrybaldy]

Blimey that makes perfect sense on re-reading. The python, the Mardi gras, "shave my head and tell my mum", the "never came out" . All of it in fact. I feel a numpty for not getting it. Brilliant job, Delta.

[Delta40]

Lol. I thought it was pretty obvious meself. I'll be in the UK on Valentine's day Jerry.