nsp1204
08-13-2013, 11:16 PM
The house is dark when I let her in, I don’t bother turning on any of the lights, we are going straight for the back yard. I let her go out of the back door first and follow behind letting the door ease closed behind me, I continue to walk after I hear the latch find its place. It’s a little after sunset so I’m able to see her waiting for me at the top of the steps, the world has a blue tint at this early stage of the night. I light a cigarette as I walk up the four stone steps to the upper portion of the yard. I drift to the left and meet her in front of the rusting patio furniture; I feel cold seeping into the souls of my feet and up my ankles, I look down and realize I forgot to put shoes on. I look back up, We both stare silently, aware of each other’s presence, at the pool that is slowly fermenting. She moves closer, and from the corner of my eye I see her take a quick glance at me. She slips her hand through the loop I have made by putting my hands on my hips, she digs into my side with her fingers, I always liked that move. I put my hand around her waist and pull her real close, keeping a stone straight face and continuing to stare forward, she giggles. “I missed you” she says softly, I feel the heat on my lips as the old cigarette burns down, I take it out and light another with my free hand. I give her one of those stares that are supposed to mean something, but the truth is I just don’t feel like talking to her, this woman has hurt me before. She looks at me for a while more; her eyes are the only lights I could really see. “I love you” she says as I’m turning away, I tell her that I love her back; I feel it in my chest as the words fall out around the cigarette hanging from my lips, it almost hurts me to say it, almost. I look forward, it’s even darker now, the pool her and I stare at has had its lights broken years ago, and is now just a still, black body of water, like an ocean in the dead of the night. The water is darker though, almost oily, like if I was to stick my arm down into it the appendage would come back as black as the water. That’s my nightmare, being lost on/in/around an endless Black Ocean; this pool is terrifying to me. My cigarette is almost out when I look at her, she is still staring, not at anything in particular, lost in thought and I hope it is a thought about me. I turn fully to her and bend at the knees, I lift her off her feet and hold her like she was my bride and we were walking out of the church and down the marble stairs. I walk to the edge of the pool and look down, she knows what I’m doing and she starts kicking and beating on my chest, she looks into my eyes. “Please don’t ever leave me” I whisper to her before I jump in, into my fears with her in my arms, the waters close over us, and in that blackness all I could see are her eyes, two distant lights, unmoored and floating in emptiness, and they don’t move they stay in front of me as we both sink down, down.