Biggus
07-18-2013, 08:19 AM
ARE YOU WEARING A DIADEM?
Are you wearing a diadem?
Why are you some kind of princess?
No you actually have to be royalty
Not just daddy’s little princess
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 298
Taffy was a Welshman,
Taffy was a thief;
Taffy came to my house
And stole a piece of beef.
I should mention in the interest
Of political correctness
That not all Welshmen
Are called taffy
And not all Welshmen
Are thieves or indeed
Have a liking for someone else’s beef.
But this particular Welshman
In the 18th Century Nursery Rhyme
Was indeed called taffy
And he was a thieving bastard
“Taffy was a Welshman was an actual nursery rhyme
Popularised in the 18th Century, so don’t blame me”
I WENT TO THE MOVIES LAST NIGHT
I went to the movies last night
And watched a really good thriller
About a man poisoning the Cornflakes
Who turned out to be a cereal killer
YOU SHOULD NEVER RAISE YOUR HANDS TO YOUR KIDS
You should never raise
Your hands to your children
And for that, there
Is a very good reason
Not that I’m saying
They shouldn’t be corrected
But you must never
Leave your nuts unprotected
IT’S JUST AS WELL THAT JESUS
It’s just as well that Jesus
Wasn’t born today to be fair
As there aren’t 3 wise men
And a virgin anywhere
IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY AND I’M SEVENTY THREE
It’s my birthday today and I’m seventy three
And I’m fit as a fiddle, nothing wrong with me
Although my memory's not like it used to be
And also my memory's not like it used to be
MY WIFE SAID I WAS NOT MYSELF TODAY
My wife said I was not myself today
Which I thought was a funny thing to say
But then she went on to say to me
She noticed the improvement immediately
GROWING OLD TOGETHER
Growing old together
Is not an easy trip
In fact as time goes by
It’s just a pain in the hip
Are you wearing a diadem?
Why are you some kind of princess?
No you actually have to be royalty
Not just daddy’s little princess
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 298
Taffy was a Welshman,
Taffy was a thief;
Taffy came to my house
And stole a piece of beef.
I should mention in the interest
Of political correctness
That not all Welshmen
Are called taffy
And not all Welshmen
Are thieves or indeed
Have a liking for someone else’s beef.
But this particular Welshman
In the 18th Century Nursery Rhyme
Was indeed called taffy
And he was a thieving bastard
“Taffy was a Welshman was an actual nursery rhyme
Popularised in the 18th Century, so don’t blame me”
I WENT TO THE MOVIES LAST NIGHT
I went to the movies last night
And watched a really good thriller
About a man poisoning the Cornflakes
Who turned out to be a cereal killer
YOU SHOULD NEVER RAISE YOUR HANDS TO YOUR KIDS
You should never raise
Your hands to your children
And for that, there
Is a very good reason
Not that I’m saying
They shouldn’t be corrected
But you must never
Leave your nuts unprotected
IT’S JUST AS WELL THAT JESUS
It’s just as well that Jesus
Wasn’t born today to be fair
As there aren’t 3 wise men
And a virgin anywhere
IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY AND I’M SEVENTY THREE
It’s my birthday today and I’m seventy three
And I’m fit as a fiddle, nothing wrong with me
Although my memory's not like it used to be
And also my memory's not like it used to be
MY WIFE SAID I WAS NOT MYSELF TODAY
My wife said I was not myself today
Which I thought was a funny thing to say
But then she went on to say to me
She noticed the improvement immediately
GROWING OLD TOGETHER
Growing old together
Is not an easy trip
In fact as time goes by
It’s just a pain in the hip