mrtiddles
07-12-2013, 10:25 PM
This was written primarily as an exercise in dialogue at the prompt of Nika Harper's vlog. Opinions and tips welcome.
----
The door opened sooner than I expected.
A fireball of screeching bolted bast the door and under the table.
“Why is the cat on fire?”
“Ok, I know this looks bad but…”
“Yeah, it really does. Turn on the lights, you moron. Get the fire thing.”
“The what?” I scrambled.
“The extinguisher!”
FOOOOOSH
She picked up the cat and held him to her chest. “Well now he’s going to be scarred for life, what freaking happened here?”
“Ok I realize I forgot our anniversary this morning and…”
“…” she stared.
“…and I wanted to do something nice for you when you got home from work, so I made plans.”
“Some plans.” She shut the door nuzzled the cat to her neck. The cat meowed.
“Ok give me a second to explain. After you left this morning I felt like you were upset with me…”
“I was”
sigh
“I know. So I went on your computer to see…”
“You got on my computer? Seriously?”
siiiigh
“I got on your computer so I could find what food you’d bookmarked on that recipe site so I could try to make something for…”
“You can’t even cook, what were you thinking?” she indignantly sat on the bar stool and stroked the cat who was letting out a constant but quiet whine. Her eyes left me for the first time since she’d stepped in the kitchen.
“…so I could something make for dinner and surprise you. I grabbed the recipe for calamari and had to figure out how to fry it…”
Her eyes shot back to me.
“…so I went online and watched some tutorials. I knew you were going to be home soon so I lit the candles and sat them next to the stove.” I paused to gauge the situation.
Her shoulders dropped slightly and she looked briefly at the floor, then back to me. “Wait. You put candles next to the stove. With the grease.”
“I looked away for two seconds.”
“Bill loves fish. You had calamari in the pan.”
“Yeah, so I heard a noise and looked over just in time to see him try to lick the calamari, I tried to reach for him but he jumped when the fry grease spattered or something. He tried to run but did that running-on-a-slick-surface thing, hit the candle which fell into the pan. Fire shot up into the air and flaming grease landed on him. That’s about when you walked in. I’m so sorry.”
She looked at me for what felt like hours.
My heart sank.
She started laughing. Uproariously laughing.
“You complete and utter dolt.” she shouted, between gasps for air. I started laughing.
The cat mrowled.
She put the cat down and walked over and we hugged, laughing uncontrollably.
I suggested, “let’s go get someone else to make us calamari.”
She hooked her arm in mine, “Let’s.”
----
The door opened sooner than I expected.
A fireball of screeching bolted bast the door and under the table.
“Why is the cat on fire?”
“Ok, I know this looks bad but…”
“Yeah, it really does. Turn on the lights, you moron. Get the fire thing.”
“The what?” I scrambled.
“The extinguisher!”
FOOOOOSH
She picked up the cat and held him to her chest. “Well now he’s going to be scarred for life, what freaking happened here?”
“Ok I realize I forgot our anniversary this morning and…”
“…” she stared.
“…and I wanted to do something nice for you when you got home from work, so I made plans.”
“Some plans.” She shut the door nuzzled the cat to her neck. The cat meowed.
“Ok give me a second to explain. After you left this morning I felt like you were upset with me…”
“I was”
sigh
“I know. So I went on your computer to see…”
“You got on my computer? Seriously?”
siiiigh
“I got on your computer so I could find what food you’d bookmarked on that recipe site so I could try to make something for…”
“You can’t even cook, what were you thinking?” she indignantly sat on the bar stool and stroked the cat who was letting out a constant but quiet whine. Her eyes left me for the first time since she’d stepped in the kitchen.
“…so I could something make for dinner and surprise you. I grabbed the recipe for calamari and had to figure out how to fry it…”
Her eyes shot back to me.
“…so I went online and watched some tutorials. I knew you were going to be home soon so I lit the candles and sat them next to the stove.” I paused to gauge the situation.
Her shoulders dropped slightly and she looked briefly at the floor, then back to me. “Wait. You put candles next to the stove. With the grease.”
“I looked away for two seconds.”
“Bill loves fish. You had calamari in the pan.”
“Yeah, so I heard a noise and looked over just in time to see him try to lick the calamari, I tried to reach for him but he jumped when the fry grease spattered or something. He tried to run but did that running-on-a-slick-surface thing, hit the candle which fell into the pan. Fire shot up into the air and flaming grease landed on him. That’s about when you walked in. I’m so sorry.”
She looked at me for what felt like hours.
My heart sank.
She started laughing. Uproariously laughing.
“You complete and utter dolt.” she shouted, between gasps for air. I started laughing.
The cat mrowled.
She put the cat down and walked over and we hugged, laughing uncontrollably.
I suggested, “let’s go get someone else to make us calamari.”
She hooked her arm in mine, “Let’s.”