Biggus
07-03-2013, 08:38 AM
ARE YOU WEARING A KNITTED SWIMSUIT?
Are you wearing a knitted swimsuit?
Well I know there’s a recession on
But I’m afraid knitted swimwear
Isn’t at all the right thing to don
Because one of two things will happen
The weight of wool will pull them down
Or when you are swimming the weight
Will pull you under and you’ll drown
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 300
Baa Baa black sheep
Have you any wool?
Please say yes sir
To make my wagon full
No I don’t have any wool
You bloody Wally
I’m not a sheep
I’m your Border Collie
SOMEWHERE UNPRONOUNCEABLE # 3
I went on holiday to somewhere unpronounceable
The people suffered poverty and starvation
All the inhabitant had to live in their cars
It was the first time I’d come across an in-car-nation
I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 6
I’m thinking about taking a holiday
But I don’t know where to go
One possibility is in Suspense
That makes the adrenalin flow
I CHATTED TO A GIRL IN THE PUB
I chatted to a girl in the pub
And suspecting her gullibility
I proceeded to proudly boast
About my special ability
“I can divine when a woman
Was born, to the very day
Just by feeling her breasts
It’s as simple as child’s play”
"Really? Is that really true?"
She said “or is it just a lie
Just so you can feel my tits
But go on then give it a try"
So I had a good fondle
And thought she is so dumb
And I teased her nipples
Till they were as fat as my thumb
But she started to get impatient
And I heard her say
"Come on then, what day was I born"?
I replied, “it was yesterday"
SAME SEX MARRIAGE
There’s a lot of discussion at the moment
About “same sex marriage”
Well having been married for thirty years
I’d like a “some sex marriage”
RED HAT
She was a stunner
In her new red hat
And it turned a few heads
Have no doubt of that
She was not dressed
As someone one ignores
But everyone was thinking
“Red hat no drawers”
RED NOSE
He had a large red nose
Just like a strawberry
His pock marked snozz
Was not a thing of beauty
But it was not a drinker’s nose
In fact on the contrary
It was actually the result
Of learning to eat with cutlery
Are you wearing a knitted swimsuit?
Well I know there’s a recession on
But I’m afraid knitted swimwear
Isn’t at all the right thing to don
Because one of two things will happen
The weight of wool will pull them down
Or when you are swimming the weight
Will pull you under and you’ll drown
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 300
Baa Baa black sheep
Have you any wool?
Please say yes sir
To make my wagon full
No I don’t have any wool
You bloody Wally
I’m not a sheep
I’m your Border Collie
SOMEWHERE UNPRONOUNCEABLE # 3
I went on holiday to somewhere unpronounceable
The people suffered poverty and starvation
All the inhabitant had to live in their cars
It was the first time I’d come across an in-car-nation
I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 6
I’m thinking about taking a holiday
But I don’t know where to go
One possibility is in Suspense
That makes the adrenalin flow
I CHATTED TO A GIRL IN THE PUB
I chatted to a girl in the pub
And suspecting her gullibility
I proceeded to proudly boast
About my special ability
“I can divine when a woman
Was born, to the very day
Just by feeling her breasts
It’s as simple as child’s play”
"Really? Is that really true?"
She said “or is it just a lie
Just so you can feel my tits
But go on then give it a try"
So I had a good fondle
And thought she is so dumb
And I teased her nipples
Till they were as fat as my thumb
But she started to get impatient
And I heard her say
"Come on then, what day was I born"?
I replied, “it was yesterday"
SAME SEX MARRIAGE
There’s a lot of discussion at the moment
About “same sex marriage”
Well having been married for thirty years
I’d like a “some sex marriage”
RED HAT
She was a stunner
In her new red hat
And it turned a few heads
Have no doubt of that
She was not dressed
As someone one ignores
But everyone was thinking
“Red hat no drawers”
RED NOSE
He had a large red nose
Just like a strawberry
His pock marked snozz
Was not a thing of beauty
But it was not a drinker’s nose
In fact on the contrary
It was actually the result
Of learning to eat with cutlery