Biggus
06-27-2013, 04:14 PM
ARE YOU WEARING ROMAN ROBES?
Are you wearing Roman robes?
They’re very loose and flowing
And they fit where they touch
Without any detail showing
Which keeps a man guessing
I really like that about them
Because it’ll be a surprise later
When I take you up the forum
SOMEWHERE UNPRONOUNCEABLE # 2
I went on holiday to somewhere unpronounceable
Who have a novel approach to automation
You are not prohibited to own a motor car
Unless it is Pink, making them a Pink Car-nation
HE CERTAINLY WASN’T MUCH OF A POLICEMAN # 2
He certainly wasn’t much of a policeman
Of that most people would concur
His colleagues called him the Gurkha
Because he never took a prisoner
I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 4
I’m thinking about taking a holiday
But I don’t know where to go
I have never been in Flexible
But I really don’t know
I think it’s important to stand firm
So I would have to say no
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 301
Hickory dickory dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the others escaped unscathed
I GOT CAUGHT TAKING A PISS
I got caught taking a piss
In the local swimming pool
The lifeguard shouted so loud,
I nearly fell in. the bloody fool
MY DOCTOR SAID I’M BORDERLINE OBESE
My doctor said I’m borderline obese
But it didn’t bother me at all
Because at the end of the day
That makes me borderline Normal
PUT DOWN # 49
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Allow me to give you an example
By way of a demonstration
When I was in a club one night
It must have been nearly half past two
A woman said to me “If you lost weight,
Shaved and cut your hair you would do
I replied “yes but if I did all that,
I’d be talking to your mates instead of you”
Are you wearing Roman robes?
They’re very loose and flowing
And they fit where they touch
Without any detail showing
Which keeps a man guessing
I really like that about them
Because it’ll be a surprise later
When I take you up the forum
SOMEWHERE UNPRONOUNCEABLE # 2
I went on holiday to somewhere unpronounceable
Who have a novel approach to automation
You are not prohibited to own a motor car
Unless it is Pink, making them a Pink Car-nation
HE CERTAINLY WASN’T MUCH OF A POLICEMAN # 2
He certainly wasn’t much of a policeman
Of that most people would concur
His colleagues called him the Gurkha
Because he never took a prisoner
I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 4
I’m thinking about taking a holiday
But I don’t know where to go
I have never been in Flexible
But I really don’t know
I think it’s important to stand firm
So I would have to say no
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 301
Hickory dickory dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the others escaped unscathed
I GOT CAUGHT TAKING A PISS
I got caught taking a piss
In the local swimming pool
The lifeguard shouted so loud,
I nearly fell in. the bloody fool
MY DOCTOR SAID I’M BORDERLINE OBESE
My doctor said I’m borderline obese
But it didn’t bother me at all
Because at the end of the day
That makes me borderline Normal
PUT DOWN # 49
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Allow me to give you an example
By way of a demonstration
When I was in a club one night
It must have been nearly half past two
A woman said to me “If you lost weight,
Shaved and cut your hair you would do
I replied “yes but if I did all that,
I’d be talking to your mates instead of you”