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Showkat
06-21-2013, 08:37 AM
Like any immature child I one day decided to steal the lamp of a truck. The lamp which I decided to steal was very popular among the young children like me. One who had such a lamp was looked upon by other children. The lamp was mostly stolen from the trucks which would come to rural areas for loading apples. It was a herculean task to steal that lamp, because it lied underneath the trucks. But for the little expert thieves it was just a left hand job. I too wanted to have one. But didn't know where to find it. Many times I tried to steal the lamp, made many rounds round the trucks but could never find. I always wondered that how some children find it and pull it out.
One day a truck arrived in our village to load the apples. Like other children I too visited the place where apples were being loaded onto the truck. I thought myself that it was a chance to steal the lamp. But there were already many boys who were making rounds round the truck with the intention of stealing the particular lamp. Everyone was hopeful and desperate. There was a boy who was very expert in stealing the things. Though everyone was curious to have the lamp, but the expert boy`s presence was despairing. In a few minutes he disappeared from the spot. Every one among us was surprised and we guessed that he disappeared with the lamp. I had come with a hope but my hope was shattered. But I was determined to have the lamp at any cost. Though the lamp had already been stolen and there was nothing then to be stolen. Everyone except me left the spot. I was still ambitious and still curious not to leave empty handed. There were many coloured lamps which were visible to everyone. But no one would pay any heed towards them. Those lamps were only meant for decoration and not for any light. I started to work on one of the coloured lamps. Though the lamp looked more beautiful than the demanded one but it would not attract the attention of the boys. It was a cone shaped lamp blue in colour. It was very hard to pull the lamp out; it was stuck against the front portion of the truck below the head light. While pulling it, it started to make creaking sound. My heart started beating. I was very nervous and got drenched in sweat. It was my first theft in life. I had never done such a job before. Sometimes I was feeling pity for the driver and for the truck. But my determination made me callous and merciless. I had not to leave empty handed. I worked on the lamp at least for fifteen minutes. At last I succeeded in pulling it out. I was greatly excited. My whole body was shivering with fear and happiness. The lamp became the gift of my hard toil.’ I will show it to my family, they will be pleased’, thought i. I ran from the spot happily directly to my home. I reached my home, but there was none except my mother who was busy in kitchen. I ran toward her excitedly, ‘see mother, what I have got?’ I said to her.’ What is this? Where have you got it? Have you stolen it?’ My mother asked me these questions in a same breath. I stole it from a truck, I replied proudly. I was curious to have the lamp and I have it now. I will treasure it, i replied her. But instead of appreciating me she condemned me and cursed me. She frightened me and told me that I would be arrested by the police for committing theft and I would be sent to jail where a severe punishment will be given to me.
‘What has happened to you, my son’ she said to me. Go and return it to the driver and beg him pardon for the blunder which you have committed, lest you will be punished.
My mother`s words moved my heart. I blushed because of shame and I felt pity for the driver and for his truck. Tears started to roll down on my cheeks. I had thought that my mother would appreciate and encourage me. But everything turned opposite. I repented over the mischief. With the lamp in my hand i returned to the place where I had stolen the lamp of the truck. But the truck was not there and I was disappointed. I returned to my home heartbroken and was very tense because of my mother`s sayings. My mother would again scold me for the theft and she would also inform my father about it and I would be punished also at home.
‘Have you returned the lamp to the driver?’ My mother said to me. ‘No, the truck was not there,’ said I with my eyes down.’ But the police, what shall I do now?’ Gasped I. seeing the fear on my face my mother assured me that nothing would be done to me.’’ But never steal the things of others in future. It is a sin and also a great offence and those who steal the things of others are subjected to severe punishment’’, she advised me.
Here I conclude with paying special thanks to my mother who saved me from becoming a thief. If she had neglected my little theft, I would have been a notorious criminal.

CptnFut
06-21-2013, 11:55 AM
all in all tis a good story, not a good enough writer to be able to give better constructive criticism.

Showkat
06-22-2013, 11:20 AM
Thank you very much

Steven Hunley
06-23-2013, 12:18 AM
Like any immature child I one day decided to steal the lamp of a truck. The lamp which I decided to steal was very popular among the young children like me. One who had such a lamp was looked upon by other children. The lamp was mostly stolen from the trucks which would come to rural areas for loading apples. It was a herculean task to steal that lamp, because it lied underneath the trucks. But for the little expert thieves it was just a left hand job. I too wanted to have one. But didn't know where to find it. Many times I tried to steal the lamp, made many rounds round the trucks but could never find. I always wondered that how some children find it and pull it out.

The vocabulary is alright for a simple straight-forward story but the sentence structure needs work. I understand English isn't your first language. As you grow in your spoken English your writing skills will sharpen accordingly.

I talked to a fellow and his wife, both from India, hotel keepers. Since we had body language and context cues, there was no problem communicating. Written stuff is much harder.

try:" Like many immature children I decided to steal a truck lamp. This particular lamp was popular among the youngest. One would made off with such a lamp was looked up upon as if he were from a higher cast, revered by the others. Mostly the trucks that came to rural areas were vandalized. A Herculean task, nearly impossible, because the lamp was underneath the truck...."

There are hundreds of ways to rearrange this piece as you know. Talk to as many native speakers of English on the street that you can. With each meaningful conversation you'll get a lesson in English. Keep at it, you'll only get better.

Showkat
07-05-2013, 10:35 PM
Thank you sir for your suggestion.