Biggus
06-21-2013, 08:10 AM
ARE YOU WEARING SILK DRAWERS?
Are you wearing silk drawers?
I only ask you as I can see
That you appear to be the victim
Of an elastic deficiency
And if you combine that
With the force of gravity
They are around your ankles
You may think it a catastrophe
But I would beg to differ
For me it’s just serendipity
WHY UNITED?
My mate asked me why
I’m a United fan
I replied that it was
Because my brother Dan
Supported the Reds,
Also my dad was a United man
And my mum was a
Lifelong United fan
So that was why I was also
A Man United fan
“That’s ridiculous” he said
“What if your brother was a thug?
Your mum was a prostitute
And your dad was on drugs
What would you be then?
You poor misguided fool?”
“Well obviously” I replied
“Then I'd support Liverpool”
I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 2
I’m thinking about taking a holiday
But I don’t know where to go
I would like to go to Conclusions
But you have to jump there, so
As I can’t do much physical activity
I would have to reluctantly say no
ARE YOU WEARING A TOGA?
Are you wearing a toga?
I don’t want to be an ogre
But you’ll be a hit alright
At the house party tonight
As everyone will be knowing.
Because you will be showing
That beneath the flowing robes
You have unfettered globes
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 295
Solomon Grundie,
Born on Monday,
but nothing else
In his life rhymed
YOU’LL NEVER GUESS I BET
You’ll never guess I bet
What it is that you get
If you cross the Atlantic
With the RMS Titanic?
Do you give in? Can I say?
Ok then “About half way”
EATING WITH THE INLAWS
An evening spent
With my wife’s family
Is good food and wine
And gracious hostility
MUM KNITTED ME A JUMPER
Mum knitted me a jumper
I hate wearing I as I look silly
But I’m a kid so I have to
Especially when mum feels chilly
Are you wearing silk drawers?
I only ask you as I can see
That you appear to be the victim
Of an elastic deficiency
And if you combine that
With the force of gravity
They are around your ankles
You may think it a catastrophe
But I would beg to differ
For me it’s just serendipity
WHY UNITED?
My mate asked me why
I’m a United fan
I replied that it was
Because my brother Dan
Supported the Reds,
Also my dad was a United man
And my mum was a
Lifelong United fan
So that was why I was also
A Man United fan
“That’s ridiculous” he said
“What if your brother was a thug?
Your mum was a prostitute
And your dad was on drugs
What would you be then?
You poor misguided fool?”
“Well obviously” I replied
“Then I'd support Liverpool”
I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 2
I’m thinking about taking a holiday
But I don’t know where to go
I would like to go to Conclusions
But you have to jump there, so
As I can’t do much physical activity
I would have to reluctantly say no
ARE YOU WEARING A TOGA?
Are you wearing a toga?
I don’t want to be an ogre
But you’ll be a hit alright
At the house party tonight
As everyone will be knowing.
Because you will be showing
That beneath the flowing robes
You have unfettered globes
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 295
Solomon Grundie,
Born on Monday,
but nothing else
In his life rhymed
YOU’LL NEVER GUESS I BET
You’ll never guess I bet
What it is that you get
If you cross the Atlantic
With the RMS Titanic?
Do you give in? Can I say?
Ok then “About half way”
EATING WITH THE INLAWS
An evening spent
With my wife’s family
Is good food and wine
And gracious hostility
MUM KNITTED ME A JUMPER
Mum knitted me a jumper
I hate wearing I as I look silly
But I’m a kid so I have to
Especially when mum feels chilly