Lost One

[Jassy Melson]

You tell me (with misty eyes)
that you've lost faith
in humankind, that you used to look
upon the world and people as good
but now all you feel is sick.

My reply is to snap out of your blues,
this world is a dream—it will soon pass,
before you know it you will be living
with a totally different view of reality.

The wheel of life turns and in our time
we find ourselves in paradise and in hades.
There is no escape from reality until
we achieve nirvana—and then we have no
consciousness. So every way you look at it,
we are destined to exist in one form or another.

Therefore be of good cheer
for what have you got to lose
but your blues.
Nature allows no compromises,
so accept existence and endure it.

[cafolini]

The last line is a contradiction under the light of Nirvana.

[virtuoso]

You really need to use more, descriptive adjectives to give the poem a poetic quality. Example: Your, blue, misty eyes sigh/ Your faith, once a mustard seed/ Now dry husk shriveling in scorn/ Humanity, the chaff blown about by the wind/Reaping the perennial seeds of their destruction. Stanza two: Focus, my love, not on perception/Fixed Time is but a relative sphere/ But your surreal dreams hover on the horizon/ To shroud the present fog/ To filter through, sunny tomorrows.

Take a metaphor, develop it, and emboss it with colorful, descriptive adjectives. I like the thesis, and major premises of your poems. You write with devotion and a sense of passion. I will look forward to your next post.

[Jassy Melson]

Thank you both for your comments. They have given me food for thought.