how do you overcome narcissism?

[hypatia_]

:willy_nilly:

[Calidore]

That's a tough one, because a true narcissist will disregard anyone else's input anyway. Look at the witch in Snow White; rather than accept the reality check her mirror gave her, she resorted to (attempted) murder.

[cafolini]

:willy_nilly:

First you have to get it. How did you?

[hypatia_]

First you have to get it. How did you?

how does one get narcissism?


That's a tough one, because a true narcissist will disregard anyone else's input anyway. Look at the witch in Snow White; rather than accept the reality check her mirror gave her, she resorted to (attempted) murder.

So if someone is seeking advice does that mean they're only half a narcissist?

[cacian]

hi hypatia_ do you mind defining in your own words what a narcissist is or does?
I have looked it up and it is suggesting that it is egotism/pride/selfisheness?

[Charles Darnay]

stab the painting.

[hypatia_]

hi hypatia_ do you mind defining in your own words what a narcissist is or does?
I have looked it up and it is suggesting that it is egotism/pride/selfisheness?

i think it's being obsessed with other people's perception of you.

[Calidore]

So if someone is seeking advice does that mean they're only half a narcissist?

Yup, and can still be saved. :)


i think it's being obsessed with other people's perception of you.

I think other people's perception is irrelevant to the narcissist. A narcissist is completely in love with him/herself and is the center of his own universe.

[NikolaiI]

Hm, I think reflection and meditation are a good step. . The practice of "mindfulness," is good - practice being aware of yourself and of others; what is your mental/emomtional state? What is that of the people around you? If someone is really narcissistic, they'll be putting other people off most of the time. But what's the solution? Just be aware of the present, and try to be positive and good to people around as much as possible, and to oneself. I suppose a good counter-balance would be humility and/or sincerity; but genuine qualities of that nature require a lot of self-understanding, I believe, and understanding of others.

[hypatia_]

i agree. i've found that people who do yoga and are in general willing to reflect on themselves end up being less narcissistic.

it's almost like the cause of narcissism is not being willing to confront reality to an extent, but then again, i suppose that's true of most mental disorders and/or philosophical constructs.

[Silas Thorne]

stab the painting.

Yes, an excellent idea.

You could also look on the dark side of life. If you think carefully enough, you're bound to find something horribly wrong with you.

[Gladys]

it's almost like the cause of narcissism is not being willing to confront reality to an extent, but then again, i suppose that's true of most mental disorders and/or philosophical constructs.

Narcissists don't, won't and can't communicate openly about emotional subjects. They live in a cocoon impervious to emotional inputs or, rather, they transform them into something unrecognisable.

Symptoms of narcissism can, with difficulty, be moderated while the underlying narcissism persists undiminished. I'm looking for solutions too!

[hypatia_]

Yes, an excellent idea.

You could also look on the dark side of life. If you think carefully enough, you're bound to find something horribly wrong with you.

you think finding faults in self is a remedy?

[Heaven'sflower]

if narcissism is self love then for me its gud.we have rights for ourselves to love,to understand our basics nd what would be best for us.
then what to overcome ? me personally love myself .nd the reason what i have to give is that i love myself because i'm confident enough who i'm.
i know my faults __ i appreciate the gud things in me.

[Silas Thorne]

you think finding faults in self is a remedy?

No. It's never a remedy. But it's good not to gloss over your own faults. Everyone is bad at something.

The problem with self-love is after a while your hand gets tired.

[hypatia_]

that is true, and yet another proof that evading reality will not get you far.

[hannah_arendt]

My problem has been always seeing only my faults. I think narcissism is a result of not beeing appreciated and loved. If you don`t feel supports of others or you are alone you try to find the reason of it. For instance, you say: i ma too good, beautiful, genius but nobody understands me.

[PeterL]

:willy_nilly:


Why would you want to? If you, the one who knows yourself best, don't love yourself, then why would anyone love you?

[Charles Darnay]

i agree. i've found that people who do yoga and are in general willing to reflect on themselves end up being less narcissistic.


unfortunately, the people I know who do yoga tend to be more narcissistic: they tend to feel that doing yoga makes them better than everyone around them.

NB: I have nothing against yoga, just AmCan (American/Canadian.....you know, explaining my abbreviation makes it redundant) culture surrounding yoga.

[tonywalt]

The best way to overcome narcissism is with a healthy does of Self Loathing.

[cafolini]

LOL
Narcissisism springs from Self Loathing. Why do you think he/she has to look at the image all day long?

[Hawkman]

Break all your mirrors and avoid reflective surfaces. Alternatively, evolve into a daffodil

[hypatia_]

unfortunately, the people I know who do yoga tend to be more narcissistic: they tend to feel that doing yoga makes them better than everyone around them.

NB: I have nothing against yoga, just AmCan (American/Canadian.....you know, explaining my abbreviation makes it redundant) culture surrounding yoga.

What do you think the culture of yoga in the West is like compared to the East?


LOL
Narcissisism springs from Self Loathing. Why do you think he/she has to look at the image all day long?

Agreed. I've noticed a lot of times, the image people project is the opposite of their internal conflict.

[JuniperWoolf]

Don't loathe yourself (that causes even more problems) and don't continuously bolster yourself up (which is what narcissism probably is - overcompensation). Instead, think about something other than yourself.

[Darcy88]

The best way to avoid it is to lose yourself in work, relationships and art. Another way is to meditate upon the greatness of persons like Shakespeare and Einstein and Matin Luther King, thereby putting your own positive attributes into perspective. Christians do this with Christ, Buddhists with the Buddha, and if done rightly it is very efficacious at instilling a sense of humility. I have enough negative qualities and tendencies to counterbalance what might be exceptional about me that if I am being honest with myself narcissism isn't really a possibility. The only times it becomes an issue is when I first start a relationship with a young woman. With my looks and my charm and without the length of time required for my deep flaws to perceptibly emerge they often think I am quite literally perfect. They become infatuated and shamelessly heap hyperbolic praise upon me so relentlessly that I begin to believe in their false idealization of me and as a result become an arrogant self-satisfied disgrace.

[Varenne Rodin]

I am a narcissist. There is a psychological scale for diagnosing narcissism. I was surprised to learn that I score very high on the scale.

I am a perfectionist, but I am painfully aware that I cannot be absolutely perfect, and everything that is good about me will fade away and be lost. This doesn't just make me want to die, it makes me want to destroy myself. It's quite difficult for the people who have opted to be close to me.

I care about people, but I am self obsessed. My father died young. My mother went insane. I made myself. Narcissism isn't just self love. It's an unhealthy fixation. Narcissists do not feel good. I suggest further reading on the subject.

[Varenne Rodin]

As for overcoming it, a person can school the way they treat others. I do not think it is possible to fix the internal condition.

[Gladys]

I care about people, but I am self obsessed. My father died young. My mother went insane. I made myself. Narcissism isn't just self love. It's an unhealthy fixation. Narcissists do not feel good. I suggest further reading on the subject.

What seems to characterise the narcissists I know are meteoric, instantaneous swings from good humour to irritation, annoyance and aggression. In these negative moods they are impervious to reason, and view everything in the worst light. They seem emotionally shallow and unstable, once you get to know them well. But when they are good, they are very, very good!

As for overcoming narcissism, all symptoms are amenable to surface change but the underlying world view is likely impregnable. They protect themselves, like armadillos, from emotional probing of any sort. Having allowed limited emotional engagement, having gained little emotional wisdom, I suppose they have good reason to feel vulnerable.

[hypatia_]

if it's caused by limiting emotional engagement, then it would be interesting to see what the reason for that is. traumatic experience/childhood/etc. i am of a firm belief that anyone can change, but those scenarios are tough. some people don't even remember what it is that made them be so antisocial anymore. and if they can't remember it, they can't confront it.

[Gladys]

if it's caused by limiting emotional engagement, then it would be interesting to see what the reason for that is. traumatic experience/childhood/etc. i am of a firm belief that anyone can change, but those scenarios are tough. some people don't even remember what it is that made them be so antisocial anymore. and if they can't remember it, they can't confront it.

If their self esteem is healthy, probably far too healthy, why would they see a need to change?