Utopia

[E.A Rumfield]

There is a bar somewhere and in this bar
everything is fine and the drinks are free.
There is a room where the dust dances in the light
as the sun as the sun struggles to shine through.
Here lies my heart,
right across the river from the bleak and hopeless
New Jersey skyline.
A factory billows with smoke and a child coughs,
a clock strikes twelve times and no music is heard.
Somewhere in the world there is a bar,
in a town that evolved separately from the world that we know.
In this bar the people are friendly and time
is not counted on the hands of a clock,
but rather with stories and events.
The waitress has a healthy look to her and a smile comes easily.
Love is approached innocently,
without apprehension or jealously.
There is a place that I dream of
but it is not here.
And when I awake,
I think of power lines and dams.
A river cut off by a wall,
the story of some many lives
and only a part of you can drain through.
And what about all that we leave behind?
I think of a place that cannot be.

[hypatia_]

i like the casual, comfortable tone that comes in when you are talking about time being paced by stories and events.

i think you could improve the part about the town evolving separately. going into it in more detail to describe it's seclusion, both in terms of geography and attitude.

[blank|verse]

There is a bar somewhere and in this bar
everything is fine and the drinks are free.
Is it Club Tropicana??

[virtuoso]

This is, indeed, Club Utopia. I would like to see you develop it a bit more, and include: food, decor, and patrons(at bar). It is a good poem. I like the way you contrast the urban environment with your dreamy utopia. Enjoyed your poem.