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Biggus
06-07-2013, 08:23 AM
ARE YOU WEARING A LOOK OF CONTEMPT?

Are you wearing a look of contempt?
After my ham fisted clumsy attempt
Clearly I can indeed see that you are
After failing to unhook that bloody bra

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 292

There was an Owl lived in an oak.
And one day his hoot became a croak
His feathers were drab for all too see
Then he gasped and fell out of the tree

ARE YOU WEARING PYJAMAS?

Are you wearing pyjamas?
And they’re Flannelette no less
I’m sure they are very comfy
But I was hoping for a nightdress
Or preferably as it is our
Wedding night, considerably less

BEEF AND CHICKEN

I’m used to the term
Surf and turf on a menu
If you want meat and seafood
But now if you want to
Eat Beef and Chicken together
You order Leather and feather

SO PLEASE MAKE NO MISTAKE

There is definitely a difference,
So please make no mistake,
Between a bag of crisps and a condom
One of them you salt and shake

SATURDAY NIGHT TREAT

On a Saturday night when I’ve had some a ale
There is one thing that delights without fail
And it’s the only thing that will satisfy me
And that’s Donna on a spit for all to see

OPULENCE

He was opulence itself
With his lavish display
Of wealth and affluence
By means quite ample,
His riches clearly abundant
To put it another way
And to use the vernacular
He was totally Minted

ARE YOU WEARING A ONESIE? # 1

Are you wearing a onesie?
I didn’t know you were the type
But you have surprised me
And yes I like the tiger stripe

Well yes I don’t mind if I do
It’s very soft to the touch
Yes I’d like to feel inside
Thank you so very much