Eternally Yours

[NickBrown]

We are the young couple

That danced through the burning arches of Rome,
That strolled, hand in hand, down the beaches of Iwo Jima,
That counted stars on the fields of Cambodia.

Through your creation came our creation, and through our creation comes your creations.

So long as you exist, so too shall we exist
in the labyrinth of your minds and soul.

You cannot run; mortality is faster than any bullet.
You can only choose to run, either.

[cafolini]

This seems to fence an offering to God. I'm not sure of the ultimate effect. It is at least descriptive to a large extent, which gives it a limited plus.

[NickBrown]

I sort of failed here, but there was a specific person I wrote this for, so maybe that's why.

[cafolini]

I like that line: mortality is faster than any bullet. Pretty futuristic. It speeds up with population growth. I has been said that we were stupidly waiting for the end while it had happened again and again.

[NickBrown]

When I originally conceived the idea, I wanted to put it in sonnet form, so I could further juxtapose the ideas of love and death (sonnets being traditionally about love, among other things). However, the iambic pentameter just didn't work out the way I wanted it to.