ThreeKlicksAway
05-29-2013, 08:33 PM
I am to be sending in a report tomorrow that is fairly important to my overall grade, and I have been wishing for someone to pre-read it. I am far too shy to ask anyone I personally know to judge my own work, but I think that maybe someone here would like to take a look. I need another fresh set of eyes to review it before I send it in, and I would be ever so greatful for anyone on here to do so.
My report is 6 or so pages in length, and focuses on early man's first inventions(fire, external memory saving, etc.) If anyone is interested in a brief history on the greatest sucess story in the world, they may take a look here. I have included the introduction, but will message you the rest if you are interested. If(and when) you find a mistake, do be blunt but not brash, I don't take critique the best.
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The human mind is an incredible thing. It has been our secret weapon since our very race was born, and with it, we have flown to the moon and back, and have proven that we do not require fangs, talons, or even camouflage to survive the dog-eat-dog world we call Earth.
If however, we had had the unfortunate fate of evolving to be a rather dumb species, and still manage to keep our helpless traits(which would be highly unlikely), we would find ourselves in a bit of a mess. We are already without even a pelt to speak of, or good hearing, or anything but second-rate sight. If we were to somehow lose our only advantage, or never even have attained it at all, we likely wouldn't even be using sticks to pull termites out of holes like the apes of Africa.
It is well then that all we have is our wisdom, because that is all we have ever needed. If we become cold, we fashion a coat out of a wolf's hide. If we are hungry, we carefully chip away at flint and willow until we have a spear in which to hunt with. And if we find ourselves on the precipice of inevitable war, as it has always been as such; we conjure our ultimate weapon; one that is capable of forming steel into shields; or into swords.
Fire, as some say, is the soul of all living things. Its kind flickering warmth can nurture life, or with equal finesse, take it away. Harnessing it would allow great power, but also usher great responsibility. If one is not careful, even a single tip of a lantern can send an entire city up in flames, totally engulfing everything in its path.
Man developed the skill of fire-making long ago, and it has remained as intertwined in the world's cultures since the day it sprang from that bundle of tinder to warm a pair of sore hands. Of course, man had been using sticks and rocks to go about their daily hunts and skirmishes long before they dared to meddle with fire, as five thousand years ago, they feared it as much as any other wild beast on the plains and forests where they lived. It was only when some forgotten hero decided to tame these violent flames that man found themselves capable of reigning supreme to even the carnivores that hunted them. With fire, they could protect themselves from the predators and the cold winter nights. They could roast venison, which subsequently enabled it to last longer to suit their nomadic lifestyle as they followed the migrating herds of elk and bison. . .
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I apologize for the lack of indentations. Forums always seem to do that... I do hope someone is kind enough to do this for me, I would be extremely grateful. My writing is not the best, but I do try(after all, I am only 14, if that is any excuse at all!)
-Klick
My report is 6 or so pages in length, and focuses on early man's first inventions(fire, external memory saving, etc.) If anyone is interested in a brief history on the greatest sucess story in the world, they may take a look here. I have included the introduction, but will message you the rest if you are interested. If(and when) you find a mistake, do be blunt but not brash, I don't take critique the best.
---
The human mind is an incredible thing. It has been our secret weapon since our very race was born, and with it, we have flown to the moon and back, and have proven that we do not require fangs, talons, or even camouflage to survive the dog-eat-dog world we call Earth.
If however, we had had the unfortunate fate of evolving to be a rather dumb species, and still manage to keep our helpless traits(which would be highly unlikely), we would find ourselves in a bit of a mess. We are already without even a pelt to speak of, or good hearing, or anything but second-rate sight. If we were to somehow lose our only advantage, or never even have attained it at all, we likely wouldn't even be using sticks to pull termites out of holes like the apes of Africa.
It is well then that all we have is our wisdom, because that is all we have ever needed. If we become cold, we fashion a coat out of a wolf's hide. If we are hungry, we carefully chip away at flint and willow until we have a spear in which to hunt with. And if we find ourselves on the precipice of inevitable war, as it has always been as such; we conjure our ultimate weapon; one that is capable of forming steel into shields; or into swords.
Fire, as some say, is the soul of all living things. Its kind flickering warmth can nurture life, or with equal finesse, take it away. Harnessing it would allow great power, but also usher great responsibility. If one is not careful, even a single tip of a lantern can send an entire city up in flames, totally engulfing everything in its path.
Man developed the skill of fire-making long ago, and it has remained as intertwined in the world's cultures since the day it sprang from that bundle of tinder to warm a pair of sore hands. Of course, man had been using sticks and rocks to go about their daily hunts and skirmishes long before they dared to meddle with fire, as five thousand years ago, they feared it as much as any other wild beast on the plains and forests where they lived. It was only when some forgotten hero decided to tame these violent flames that man found themselves capable of reigning supreme to even the carnivores that hunted them. With fire, they could protect themselves from the predators and the cold winter nights. They could roast venison, which subsequently enabled it to last longer to suit their nomadic lifestyle as they followed the migrating herds of elk and bison. . .
---
I apologize for the lack of indentations. Forums always seem to do that... I do hope someone is kind enough to do this for me, I would be extremely grateful. My writing is not the best, but I do try(after all, I am only 14, if that is any excuse at all!)
-Klick