Far, Far Apart

[ContentMatters]

I wrote this poem about the human condition, I use it a lot to put a grasp on things...Don Jastrebski

If there is a lesson to death
Which only can be learned through life
It shows that lessons to those who've wronged
Can only be taught by those who're right
Just as the sun departs the skies
As day turns to night
Does the darkness of our own demise
Turn slowly back to light

Even though the truth may hurt
We're not supposed to lie
And even though our lives may feel cursed
Most truly don't want to die
We're not even sure of all we know
Solve the how and there's still the why
In this place the going gets harder as you go
No matter how hard you try
But that's just life, random I guess
Or perhaps an intricate test
To fight through plight and do what's right
Until your own eternal rest

Even to the most upbeat optimist
This can waver on their zest
To avoid sin a midst this day in age
You best never wake to dress
We are evil, conniving, and quite corrupt
But most do have a heart
Attentions aside, we still manage to reside
Just far, far apart

By: Don Jastrebski

[cafolini]

You are con-fused and contradictory at every step. Get rid of the cons. May your cons stay away from your fusions. God be with you.

[hillwalker]

It's a rather pedestrian list of things we all know already, is it not? Nothing especially enlightening.

And by the final verse your rhyme scheme drives this completely off the rails. The opening 4 lines to this verse are dire.

H

[Delta40]

With this sort of theme - ditch the rhyme and go free verse. Say what needs to be said without being imprisoned.