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View Full Version : A skipping swallow you, of fleeting grace.



Silas Thorne
05-23-2013, 09:26 PM
A skipping swallow, you of fleeting grace.
The merest echo of your lips, your face,
could still my breath.

Your taut and long black silken hair,
dark rope, that leaves me hanging here.

The necklace that falls down before your neck,
could break my own, in hoping for a peek.

You lap a flit of flame, I'm kindle caught,
thrown hard and buckling on the limbs of thought.

Buh4Bee
05-23-2013, 09:59 PM
A tasteful and lustful poem. Enjoyed.

Silas Thorne
05-25-2013, 04:23 PM
Thanks for reading and commenting, and glad to hear you enjoyed this poem.

Jerrybaldy
05-25-2013, 05:13 PM
Enjoyed it too. Particularly like S2. You are suddenly prolific and that is welcome.

Silas Thorne
05-26-2013, 05:19 PM
Thanks Jerry. I was, and still am, most pleased with S2 and S4. I'm crafting something out right now.

symphony
05-27-2013, 01:09 AM
I like the loss of rhythm when your breath is stilled. Lovely.

Silas Thorne
05-29-2013, 12:43 AM
Thanks a lot for your feedback symphony. Yes, that was quite deliberate.

Hawkman
05-29-2013, 03:24 AM
please, please, please move that comma in L1. It should come after swallow. Apart from that I rather like it.

Live and be well - H

Silas Thorne
05-29-2013, 09:33 PM
Oh. I see now, Hawkman. Thanks!