Untitled Composition 27

[Jack of Hearts]

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[Grit]

Rockstar piece, very cool Jack.

I liked the first scene a lot, it does a great job of establishing character and context for the story and it's certainly intriguing. Made me want to keep reading.

Having him point at the picture of Rolling Stone in response to that criticism, which is harsh, tells us a lot about that character.

Then it's continued with the reaction to the car, and the question does he even like making music anymore. It's good stuff Jack.


Emily slept against my shoulder. Her hair whipped against my cheek in the wind. And Brian. His eyes were locked on to me in the the rearview mirror. If you do it, he had said, that’s it we’re finished I’ll leave. I had asked him just what the **** did he think he was accusing me of but his expression had remained like stone and he didn’t say.

This part really has me thinking. I didn't fully catch it the first time around. This piece has a heavy feel to it, a strong emotion.


Keep it coming Jack, I'd be interested in reading more.

[Buh4Bee]

Not sure what to tell you. I didn't want to keep reading it, but you maintained my knat-like attention- well written. It is kind of cliche, but you do it so well...

[hillwalker]

It gets better as it unravels.

I like the laid-back, cut to the bare bones style. It suits the subject matter and you do it so well.

Pt 2 when you're ready.

H