A Little Bit Of Humour # 19

[Biggus]

ARE YOU WEARING WINKLE PICKERS?

Are you wearing winkle pickers?
And you don’t mind the snickers?
And when they ask it doesn’t offend?
“Do your toes go right to the end?”

THE GIMME

If the “Gimme Putt”
Is the best you can do
Then I would have to say
That Golfs not for you

MY HUSBAND’S BEHAVIOUR

My husband’s behaviour
Is truly appalling
However it’s my fault really
Which is quite galling

If I hadn’t fed him cat food
Just for the laughs
He wouldn’t sit on the carpet
Licking his own arse

SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME

Since the beginning of time, the one thing
A woman really wants from her man
Is his commitment, it’s not a lot to expect
So have him committed as soon as you can

ARE YOU WEARING AN UNDERSLIP?

Are you wearing an underslip?
Are you really by thunder
Would you like to slip out of it
Or should I just slip under

DANCING TO HIP HOP

I like breakin’ and poppin’
And dancing to Hip hop
At Sixty I should be stoppin’
As I’m down for a Hip op

GENETIC MARKERS

Scientists say they have discovered
Genetic markers that indicate athleticism
I think if they take a close look at mine
I will have markers for Couch potatoism

PORTMANTEAU

I was looking for a word
That summed up slogan or motto
But something more pithy
In the end I settled on Slotto

[AuntShecky]

I'm down with ya on the Hip op. The one about "Commitment" is the best of the lot. Also you should know that the "Google" advert atop your thread is pushing "plus-size" panties.

[Biggus]

How apt. Thank you