Biggus
05-08-2013, 08:56 AM
ARE YOU WEARING A POLICEMAN’S HAT?
Are you wearing a policeman’s hat?
And you don’t get fed up with that
When they ask about your bobby’s hat
“Does your head reach the top of that?”
GIFTED AMATEURS
If someone says they’re an Amateur
There’s really no need to panic
Because Amateurs built the Ark
While Professionals built the Titanic
AT DR DOOLITTLE’S ANIMAL CLINIC
At Dr Doolittle’s animal clinic
The Animals do the lot
The chief vet is a Labrador
Assisted by a dog called spot
But it’s not a cheap option
With extra charges of all sorts
For PET scans and Polly grams
Cat scans and Lab reports
THE WILDLIFE DOWN UNDER
The wildlife down under
Includes the Wallabies
But if truth be known they’re
Just Kangaroo Wannabies
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 288
As I was going to Banbury Cross
My wife was less than thrilled
“For god’s sake calm down” she said
“You’re going to get us killed
PLAYING A WOOD
For most of us weekend golfers
The only wood that is essential
To carry in your golf bag
Is a finely sharpened pencil
WHEN I FIRST MET HER
When I first met her
I was attracted by her looks
My first thought was not
I wonder if she cooks
But her literary inadequacy’s
One certainly brooks
She was only ever interested
In my cheque books
IF YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
If you’ve been looking for
A committed man for ions,
You should have started
In the mental institution
Are you wearing a policeman’s hat?
And you don’t get fed up with that
When they ask about your bobby’s hat
“Does your head reach the top of that?”
GIFTED AMATEURS
If someone says they’re an Amateur
There’s really no need to panic
Because Amateurs built the Ark
While Professionals built the Titanic
AT DR DOOLITTLE’S ANIMAL CLINIC
At Dr Doolittle’s animal clinic
The Animals do the lot
The chief vet is a Labrador
Assisted by a dog called spot
But it’s not a cheap option
With extra charges of all sorts
For PET scans and Polly grams
Cat scans and Lab reports
THE WILDLIFE DOWN UNDER
The wildlife down under
Includes the Wallabies
But if truth be known they’re
Just Kangaroo Wannabies
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 288
As I was going to Banbury Cross
My wife was less than thrilled
“For god’s sake calm down” she said
“You’re going to get us killed
PLAYING A WOOD
For most of us weekend golfers
The only wood that is essential
To carry in your golf bag
Is a finely sharpened pencil
WHEN I FIRST MET HER
When I first met her
I was attracted by her looks
My first thought was not
I wonder if she cooks
But her literary inadequacy’s
One certainly brooks
She was only ever interested
In my cheque books
IF YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
If you’ve been looking for
A committed man for ions,
You should have started
In the mental institution