Job Interviews

[cacian]

what would you say is the worst job interview you have ever had?


mine was a lady breastfeeding her baby with full view of her shall I say breast in the interview panel. I must say I was not expecting that:hand: it is all a blurr now and the only thing I remember of it is not wanting the job. It was a secondary school job interview. I must add that was also one of my very first proper job interview ever. It did not look very promising then. ;)

Another one was a late in the evening one and all I can remember is not being able to answer one single question. I simply could not talk. They had to let me go in the end and god knows they did try hard to get me to talk. I simply cannot know what the matter was with me. really weird ;)

[LitNetIsGreat]

All of them. Can't stand interviews and everything about them. Totally false.

I once went for a job as a library manager in a school. I got talking to this woman in the staff room and for some reason blurted out that I hadn't got a chance for the job but I wasn't that bothered anyway. It turns out she was on the interview panel.

Some of these are funny, that I found when preparing for my latest interview a few months back (another fail).


How not to do it:

Candidate had a fizzy drink just before interview and spent the whole interview burping.
Candidate brought a large dog to the interview.
Came dressed in pyjamas and slippers.
Wore a personal stereo and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.
When asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around the office.
Pulled out a camera and took a photo. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.
Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.
Handcuffed himself to the interview desk.
Said he was so well-qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent.
Asked her about the many jobs she had had and she said ‘I get bored easily’.
Interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific questions.
Brought his mother to the interview and let her answer the questions.
Sang her answers to questions.
Dozed off during the interview.
Dunked his biscuit in his tea and lost it.
Announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and chips during the interview.
Said he would demonstrate loyalty by having company logo tattooed on his arm.
Said she would prefer a job offer from one of the company's competitors.
Said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a wardrobe.
Interviewer: What is your date of birth?
Interviewee: May the 15th
Interviewer: Which year?
Interviewee: Every year.
Interviewer: Tell me a word that has more than 10 letters in it?
Interviewee: Postbox
Interviewer: Do you know MS Office?
Interviewee: I'm sure I'll find it if you tell me the address.

[cacian]

Haha that list is funny :D

I can't believe the woman blurting about your chances of you not getting the job how unprofessional is that ridiculous almost.

[LitNetIsGreat]

No, no it was me who said I hadn't got a chance and wasn't bothered...:D

[cacian]

No, no it was me who said I hadn't got a chance and wasn't bothered...:D

Oops sorry I misread it:blush5: and did you get the job in the end?
I would say this is rather severe haha

Said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a wardrobe.
this however is a cracker:

Interviewer: What is your date of birth?
Interviewee: May the 15th
Interviewer: Which year?
Interviewee: Every year.:smilielol5:

[soundofmusic]

what would you say is the worst job interview you have ever had?


mine was a lady breastfeeding her baby with full view of her shall I say breast in the interview panel. I must say I was not expecting that:hand: it is all a blurr now and the only thing I remember of it is not wanting the job. It was a secondary school job interview. I must add that was also one of my very first proper job interview ever. It did not look very promising then. ;)

Another one was a late in the evening one and all I can remember is not being able to answer one single question. I simply could not talk. They had to let me go in the end and god knows they did try hard to get me to talk. I simply cannot know what the matter was with me. really weird ;)
Oh Gosh, I would not be able to look at anything except the breast feeding....I thought I had some bad interviews; but yours tops it.

I find that it is much harder for me to go on interviews as I get older; I used to be more confident when all I had to do was put on a nice suit, pair of shoes and use a blow dryer. The last interview I had, they seemed to be going for a certain cultural mix. It was for a nurse on a hospice unit; the woman ahead of the unit was mildly intoxicated, slurring her words and asking me if I was comfortable "pulling the plug"....I told her that had never been one of my duties and as far as I was concerned, shouldn't be...


All of them. Can't stand interviews and everything about them. Totally false.

I once went for a job as a library manager in a school. I got talking to this woman in the staff room and for some reason blurted out that I hadn't got a chance for the job but I wasn't that bothered anyway. It turns out she was on the interview panel.

Some of these are funny, that I found when preparing for my latest interview a few months back (another fail).

I think you might want to take a stiff drink before going....

[LitNetIsGreat]

Oops sorry I misread it and did you get the job in the end?

No chance. Mind, it didn't help my cause the stuff I said in the interview itself - it was as if I opened my mouth and crap came out. It's because I can't be doing with the false nature of the interview, all the saying stuff you think they want you to say. And the gem of advice people say to you, as in 'just be honest' 'be yourself' as if that is ever going to work. 'I want this job because it seems like less hassle' stance is simply not going to cut the mustard. I hate everything about employment starting with the job advert, the job interview and certainly the job itself.


I think you might want to take a stiff drink before going....

No, but the whole process makes me want one and after I vow to never put myself though the process again.

[kiki1982]

It's not a good thing to talk too much. My husband used to say that the best interviews were those where you didn't say anything.

The whole false nature of them and the ignorant people in front of you who are going to decide on your intelligence (:lol:) are the very reason why I decided to become independent.

Once, one admittedly sympathetic woman decided to ask me why I wanted the job. In a split second I had decided that that job wasn't very interesting anyway, so I just said, 'Because I want one.' I think she hadn't heard that one before and I think she actually secretly liked me and then was a bit gutted that I didn't care. :D

Another one was one where a man had the cheek to ask me whether I wanted to become pregnant in the near future. I mean, I was not even 21. Just because I live together with a man, doesn't mean I'm going to have babies at that time! :eek: And then, after explaining the job description, he was so stupid as to say, 'Say it now if you are not interested anymore, because we have had a few candidates who just went through the interview and then decided no.' I let him continue and then called the agency that I was indeed not interested. I mean, anyone who doesn't allow for the pill not to work or another accident is just not worth the hassle. I got my own back. You waste my time, I waste yours :D.

I do think I wasted one because I was too comfortable (doesn't that always happen?). I think I might be borderline Asberger/slightly autistic, because I'm not good with people and told too much about that. Needles to say that such a narrow minded human resources person would think I'm psychotic and mad... And it was an interesting job as well, for DHL in the clearance and customs department. But, maybe it wouldn't have been very interesting anyway. All errors lead you to a lucky strike.
*
You see, I have only had a few job interviews, because I was much too intelligent for my measly diploma of secondary school and everyone seems to think you can't even write properly in that case (I still get offers for call centres...). After a few of those idiots, I decided it wasn't for me.

That one with the breastfeeding is quite scary, yes. I don't know what I would have looked at apart from that. Weird.

[Lokasenna]

Never had a bad job interview; in fact, the last job I worked my boss was more interested in my studies and future post-job plans than in my actual suitability. By the sounds of it, though, I've been very lucky. Having the family business was also a stroke of good fortune: permanent employment from childhood to late adolescence, though sometimes more hours than I would really have liked to give!

Nothing like this, thank goodness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRtBvo9grLw

[soundofmusic]

No, but the whole process makes me want one and after I vow to never put myself though the process again.

I used to get so nervous with interviews that I would start getting sick to my stomach. At one point, I took a pill for my stomach and fell asleep in the interview. I had another as a school nurse, my professor was really routing for me and came with me. Then, the fellow asked me how I would talk to people of different languages if there was no interpreter. I told him, thinking it was good at the time, that you can pretty well understand body language enough to get the idea and then call ems. I guess it wasn't the right answer....


It's not a good thing to talk too much. My husband used to say that the best interviews were those where you didn't say anything.

The whole false nature of them and the ignorant people in front of you who are going to decide on your intelligence (:lol:) are the very reason why I decided to become independent.

Once, one admittedly sympathetic woman decided to ask me why I wanted the job. In a split second I had decided that that job wasn't very interesting anyway, so I just said, 'Because I want one.' I think she hadn't heard that one before and I think she actually secretly liked me and then was a bit gutted that I didn't care. :D

Another one was one where a man had the cheek to ask me whether I wanted to become pregnant in the near future. I mean, I was not even 21. Just because I live together with a man, doesn't mean I'm going to have babies at that time! :eek: And then, after explaining the job description, he was so stupid as to say, 'Say it now if you are not interested anymore, because we have had a few candidates who just went through the interview and then decided no.' I let him continue and then called the agency that I was indeed not interested. I mean, anyone who doesn't allow for the pill not to work or another accident is just not worth the hassle. I got my own back. You waste my time, I waste yours :D.

I do think I wasted one because I was too comfortable (doesn't that always happen?). I think I might be borderline Asberger/slightly autistic, because I'm not good with people and told too much about that. Needles to say that such a narrow minded human resources person would think I'm psychotic and mad... And it was an interesting job as well, for DHL in the clearance and customs department. But, maybe it wouldn't have been very interesting anyway. All errors lead you to a lucky strike.
*
You see, I have only had a few job interviews, because I was much too intelligent for my measly diploma of secondary school and everyone seems to think you can't even write properly in that case (I still get offers for call centres...). After a few of those idiots, I decided it wasn't for me.

That one with the breastfeeding is quite scary, yes. I don't know what I would have looked at apart from that. Weird.

I think we all feel like we have Aspergers when we are in an interview. I think the only people who are great at interviews are sociopaths though. Unless, you are just great at talking. My husband had 29 jobs in 8 years, the man had a habit of believing that he could do anything and the ability to convince anyone else he could do anything. Of course, he couldn't make the illusion last long enough to keep the job and he never saw the point of learning a trade because he thought he was smarter than all the instructors.

[Imperious]

Interesting topic idea, I am intrigued to see responsible, unfortunately I cannot contribute to this topic though..

[The Atheist]

All of my stories are from the other side of the desk; interviewing being part of what I do.

I try not to have interviews with idiots - that's what the phone call is for, to screen out the crazies.

One occasion, I missed some tell-tale signs on the phone and this guy aged about 55 turned up for a storeman job - lots of lifting & carrying, requiring excellent physical fitness.

The interviewee was the sickest bloke I've ever seen. He would have weighed 100 lbs soaking wet carrying a full backpack and he was coughing so badly I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance for him.

As it happens, I have a page with tips of what to do and what not to do in interviews, if anyone's interested: http://charman.co.nz/front/jobhunt.htm

[Delta40]

I always ask the interviewer(s) what they personally like about the job - and of course what brand of coffee is in the tea room.

I've never had a worst job interview but one government position I applied for required security clearance under the secrecy act with a follow up interview. This meant answering some pretty ridiculous questions about my past.

Have you ever consumed too much alcohol?
Yes
Any issues arising from that?
two kids actually but I can assure you I kept my identity anonymous.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Have you ever consumed too much alcohol? What a ridiculous, pointless and intrusive question. I could think of a few replies to that, mind your own ....... business comes to mind. Or what the .... does that have to do with sitting behind a desk?

What about those questions some interviewers ask, like 'If you were an animal what...' at this point I get up and walk out of the room, kicking over a chair. Granted, this has never been asked to me but it has my brother. What a sack of crap. I'm not degrading myself by sitting around listening to that. 'If you were a colour, what ...' kiss my arse...

[Delta40]

Have you ever consumed too much alcohol? What a ridiculous, pointless and intrusive question. I could think of a few replies to that, mind your own ....... business comes to mind. Or what the .... does that have to do with sitting behind a desk?

I guess they want to know how much you shoot your mouth off when pissed. Can't have employees giving away operational info under the influence. Amazingly I secured the position, even with all the jokes. I was employed as an Administrative Secretary and then got introduced to the world of surveillance the development of investigative strategies and preventative measures. One of my more memorable jobs actually.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Sounds good for you in the end, but really unforgivable sort of question. What else did they want to know about your private life that had nothing to do with the job? Do you intend to get pregnant again?

Interviews = can you dance like a chicken? Sorry, no, then you can't have the job as a gardener.

[The Atheist]

Have you ever consumed too much alcohol? What a ridiculous, pointless and intrusive question. I could think of a few replies to that, mind your own ....... business comes to mind. Or what the .... does that have to do with sitting behind a desk?

What about those questions some interviewers ask, like 'If you were an animal what...' at this point I get up and walk out of the room, kicking over a chair. Granted, this has never been asked to me but it has my brother. What a sack of crap. I'm not degrading myself by sitting around listening to that. 'If you were a colour, what ...' kiss my arse...

I agree that many interviewers ask absurd questions, but in most cases that is the result of either of two problems:

1 A lack of confidence and/or experience on the part of the interviewer.
2 The interviewer has been trained by an idiot.

Worst of all are the type of interviews, characterised by the "Give me an example of how you reacted when ................ happened."

I only interview people to make sure they have two eyes, legs and arms and can turn up on time. I don't ask questions so much as talk about the company and job, because interviews are meaningless. The only part of the recruitment process that actually matters is checking references from past employers.

[Delta40]

when it comes to jobs that are highly protected, they do a full background check and delve into your life and assess you based on your responses. Transparency is an important factor. One doesn't necessarily have to have a clean slate but if you're going to cover up and lie about your past then it speaks for itself. As far as a regular job goes, I wouldn't entertain answering questions of that nature for a moment and would have no qualms in telling the interviewer that they have crossed the boundaries of propriety.

[tonywalt]

Remember to always ask what the company's Psychological Benefits are. And if they are low (say $1,000) always insist on needing the full package even if it means you contributing to the premium.

This shows initiative and tells them a bit of 'what you're made of'.:cool:

[cacian]

Sounds good for you in the end, but really unforgivable sort of question. What else did they want to know about your private life that had nothing to do with the job? Do you intend to get pregnant again?

Interviews = can you dance like a chicken? Sorry, no, then you can't have the job as a gardener.

LOL
jobs stupidities never cease to amase. one might as well asks whether one goes to bed on time or early.

[papayahed]

I had a panel interview with about 10 people and one of them fell asleep.

My last interview one of the interviewers knew my current boss. That was weird.

[kiki1982]

That person who fell asleep wasn't your boss by any chance, was it?

I guess they wanted to see how easily you get intimidated. Nope with you, I expect :D.

[JuniperWoolf]

I had a panel interview with about 10 people and one of them fell asleep.

Haha, that's great. I had one interviewer rant to me for ten minutes about the people she doesn't like around the office. I was like "Uh huh... wow, she sounds really mean... and you say she has kids? They're mean too? No kidding. So, I have a lot of experience... oh really, he never brews the coffee?"

[Paulclem]

I've had some terrible interviews. I once had a good interview with the production manager at a clothing factory, and got to the second interview with the boss. He was a seventies throwback - (this was the early 80s) - with tinted shades, white flared trousers, streaked hair and a tank top. (He probably drove a TR7). He didn't like me from the off, and I didn't help myself by laughing at something he said when he was being serious. I didn't regret not getting that job.He was a complete *** ****.

I once had an interview with a Head of a school for a summer school. The Head didn't like me from the off either, and I didn't like him. I remember feeling pretty bolshy for some reason, and I knew that came across. The other interviewer was someone I got on with as well.

I also went for a job just to see what the job was. It was some wishy washy job with one of our now defunct education quangos. By the end of the whole process, I still didn't know what the job was about. I should have got up and said -" look, I'm sorry, but I don't know what this job is about and so let's just end the interview here and we can all get on". I wish I had. It's a good job I didn't get it because they scrapped it a few years later.

I did once get a job because I'd been arrested in my past. It was a school job where you have to declare any convictions. One of the governors - a nice old marm - asked me about when I'd got caught throwing a shrub my mate had first pulled out of a council flower bed and thrown at me. (honest!) I told them I was fined for malicious shrubbing.

[cacian]

I had a panel interview with about 10 people and one of them fell asleep.

My last interview one of the interviewers knew my current boss. That was weird.

falling asleep is just too crazy lol

[LitNetIsGreat]

I've had some terrible interviews. I once had a good interview with the production manager at a clothing factory, and got to the second interview with the boss. He was a seventies throwback - (this was the early 80s) - with tinted shades, white flared trousers, streaked hair and a tank top. (He probably drove a TR7). He didn't like me from the off, and I didn't help myself by laughing at something he said when he was being serious. I didn't regret not getting that job.He was a complete *** ****.

I once had an interview with a Head of a school for a summer school. The Head didn't like me from the off either, and I didn't like him. I remember feeling pretty bolshy for some reason, and I knew that came across. The other interviewer was someone I got on with as well.

I also went for a job just to see what the job was. It was some wishy washy job with one of our now defunct education quangos. By the end of the whole process, I still didn't know what the job was about. I should have got up and said -" look, I'm sorry, but I don't know what this job is about and so let's just end the interview here and we can all get on". I wish I had. It's a good job I didn't get it because they scrapped it a few years later.

I did once get a job because I'd been arrested in my past. It was a school job where you have to declare any convictions. One of the governors - a nice old marm - asked me about when I'd got caught throwing a shrub my mate had first pulled out of a council flower bed and thrown at me. (honest!) I told them I was fined for malicious shrubbing.

Ha, ha, some good stories. Those education jobs that no one knows what they do are still around, good if you can get one. There's plenty of jobs in the private sector like that though. I recall a conversation a bit back regarding such a person.

Me: Who's that?
Fred: It's Bob, he's the new..Data Intervention Project Manager.
Me: What's he do then?
Fred: Don't know.

Three weeks later you see him stick a pie chart on the wall in the staff room and then he hides away in the background never to be seen again. 30K a year, good holidays and no stress.

I'm positive that the only thing important in interviews and getting along in the job world generally comes down to A) who you know and B) whether you can talk the talk. Everything else can take a firm back seat.