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Biggus
04-29-2013, 07:36 AM
ARE YOU WEARING A RED CHAPEAU?

Are you wearing a red chapeau?
It’s a very daring choice of yours
Because wearing a red chapeau
They’ll say red hat and no drawers

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 287

There was a crow sat on a stone
And there he sat and ate his scone
When it was gone, when there was none
He sat and ate his Chelsea bun

IN THE EUROPEAN FORESTS

In the European forests
The wild boar can be vicious
But it’s worth the risk
As they’re bloody delicious

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM

A funny thing happened
On the way to the forum
That place devoid
Of propriety or decorum

I thought, should I engage?
Or keep well clear
Of the pit of vipers
And the poisonous atmosphere

A funny thing happened
On the way to the forum
I had a premonition
Of what was to come

So I decided the means
Didn’t justify the ends
So I went to the pub
To meet up with friends

FOOD SCANDAL

The best thing to result
From the food scandal by far
Is that they can now call off
The search for Shergar

GERIATRIC DOCTOR

The Doctor on the geriatric ward
Placed his stethoscope
On the chest of an elderly patient
By the name of Mrs Hope

She was quite a bit deaf
So he said “big breaths,” loudly
“Well Doctor they used to be,”
Mrs Hope replied proudly

MY WIFE AND I ARE INSEPARABLE

My wife and I are inseparable
Do you want to know why?
Because if either of us went away
We would have to kiss goodbye

MY DEAR WIFE SAID TO ME

My dear wife said to me
“I hate you when you’re drunk Stephen”
I replied, “Well I hate you
When I’m sober so that makes us even”