God Knows What I Need

[YRKB]

Hear him turning out the place upstairs,
Might have been about -
A week, since last she was crying;
They've been screaming since 3.36 -
but you don't hear it.

Don't so much as shift to my touch -
fake nails clasping to your big, freckled shoulder;
your breath keeps sucking in rough
I've been trying to wake you up.

Sat here and lit three in a row -
not like you took me seriously anyway,
these last couple of days -
didn't check if the motel has a sign -
but, it'll be fine.

Guess I wanted just to sit here, close;
Thinking about the last rain,
how hard it came down -
all afternoon -
you running me out of that bar;
under the thick, silver sky
to pull me in tight;
smelling your damp leather jacket;
beard tickling my closed eyes,
and, we were so high -
I could hardly care to hear
a word you were saying.

God...
I wanted to, but -
I don't think I can do this....
the bottles in the sink, motel rooms
taking the smell of your wet shoes.
Waking up
no breakfast, but yesterday's weed -
I've got to get out;
maybe go back.
God knows what I need.

Copyright Yafeu-Khamisi Rodway-Brown