Hive

[Hawkman]

Time; yes,

Time enough.

Time enough to wade
through words,
scurrying to and fro,

to and fro, like ants;
a tide,

a tide of writhing black bodies
hissing as their serif toes
dimple the mind.

Watch them form trails,
form order from the chaos
as ant words flow,

flow into single lines
hunting thought food,

back and forth,
back and forth,

back to the nest
where the fungus grows.

Time; yes.

Time enough.

[Adolescent09]

I am absolutely loving this, Hawkman. For some reason, though, I wish it had been longer. I think it is cut off too abruptly but the flow/imagery/theme is impeccable. Great as usual, Hawkman! :D

[cafolini]

Extraordinary. Pushing the limits of meaning into the verge of transcendence.

[Hawkman]

A09: Thanks for reading and enjoying. It's been a while since I wrote a decent poem. :) Left you wanting more eh? Well, sorry about that. To me it feels complete and ended as and when it should. any more would feel superfluous. Many thanks for your kind comment :)

cafolini: Got to you too then :D Glad it did, and thanks for reading and leaving the nice words.

Live and be well - H

[AuntShecky]

Do ants live in hives or colonies? Or do colonies inhabit hives?

The thought of insects gives me "the hives" or the heebie-jeebies.

The central metaphor in this piece is another case of "disparate images yoked by violence together." Eliot used that phrase to indict rather than praise metaphysical poetry, but I can see how your analogy works.

I wonder if you ever happened to see the Twilight Zone episode starring Burgess Meredith; the specific title was something like "Time Enough, At Last," similar to a recurrent phrase in your piece, which is decidedly less chilling than the theme of the SF TV show. The theme of both is finally having enough time to read (unless I've misinterpreted your piece.)

Auntie
PS-- When I clicked on your poem, the ad at the top of the page was for a local exterminator! I'm sure it wasn't a criticism but rather stemmed from picking up the word "ants" in your text.

[qimissung]

I believe Aunty is right; ants do live in colonies. Although I must say it loses something as a title if you change it to "Colony." I like the phrase 'serif toes' and thought about ants invading my brain-argh!-on at least two occasions today. When a poem lingers that's usually a good sign. I give it a thumbs up and I also give thanks that you've tossed that bouncing ball rhyminess aside for the nonce. :D

[cafolini]

Time enough to plug big mouths.
Hive: a place swarming with activity.
Oh no, not again

[qimissung]

A group of ants is called a colony or an army. I'm pretty sure Hawkman can withstand our terrible scrutiny, cafolini. So time to take your own advice, I think. What's with the passive aggressiveness, anyway, caf?

[cafolini]

A group of ants is called a colony or an army. I'm pretty sure Hawkman can withstand our terrible scrutiny, cafolini. So time to take your own advice, I think. What's with the passive aggressiveness, anyway, caf?

I'm sure Hawkman can withstand it. Hive is the title. Got your fungus?

[Hawkman]

Now now, children, lets not come to blows - it's only a poem! :D Oh, and there are other connotations of hive...

Auntie: I don't know whether I ever saw that particular Twilight Zone, and I certainly don't remember it if I did. Fairly recently, the Beeb put on a series about insect worlds and the program on leaf cutter ants was very interesting. A fascinating study. Oh, and I've been reading Ted Hughes recently. Not a lot, but enough to have my interest piqued. I don't say your interpretation of the theme is wrong, but I won't say it's right either ;)

Qim: how are things deep in the heart of Texas? Stars at night still big and bright? I hope so. :D Glad to see this drop of free verse meets with your approval. I'm afraid I tend to relapse into comic rhyme when bored. It gives me something to do ;) it's always better to have a good theme though. I used to use it to take the edge off a rant. Don't seem to have the heart for it at the moment. Don't seem to be able to muster sufficient anger to make it biting. Consequently, whilst maintaining an acceptable standard of technical proficiency, recent offerings have lacked the spark. It's one of the reasons I started writing prose again. Glad you liked the serif toes; I was rather pleased with that one ;) ah yes - ant brain-invaders, always to be resisted :D

cafolini: whilst I am grateful that you were minded to spring to my defence, please rest assured that I am old enough, and thick-skinned enough, to be sufficiently armoured against a hint of criticism. I may not be a Parfit, Gentil knyght, but I don't require a squire to tilt at windmills for me. Anyway, there's not mushroom in here for fighting... Sheathe thy lance of non sequitur, until, needs must, thou shalt defend thyself, and take care whose signature you use ;)

My thanks to all who read and comment. Live long and prosper - H

P.S. Auntie, the only ad I get when opening this thread is for ghost writers! I knew I was dead!

Labw - H

[miyako73]

Again, the calm minimalism in this one is visual and visceral. Are you changing your style? Your old ones were wordy and heavy.

[Hawkman]

Well, considering that Hummingbird, the poem you commented on before this one was written and originally posted in 2010, to say that my 'old ones' were wordy and heavy would appear to be something of a generalisation. Consequently, to say that I have a particular style would be misleading. I've over 300 poems on this site (not all of them are in threads which I started) and whilst some are ballads, and some are formal verse there is a fair sprinkling of free verse in there too. Style/form would have to be considered to have been assigned to the individual poems in accordance with their subject and purpose. IE form and content. some are wordy, some are not; some are heavy and some are light.

I'll thank you for your comment on Hummingbird here too. As I said to Twota, who bumped the thread, it's had it's day in the sun.

Thanks for reading,

Live and be well - H

[miyako73]

Oh! I thought these are new stuff. New or not, they are good.

[Hawkman]

Thanks, glad you enjoyed them. :)

[Sameer Telkar]

Wow this is extraordinary.Loved the metaphors.
'hunting thought food'

[Hawkman]

Thanks for reading. I'm glad it spoke you you. :)

Live and be well - H

[Haunted]

I'm drawn by the cadence, it lingers long enough but also moves forward, around and back when the time is right. The metaphor gives life to words that populate our heads, and brings wonderment to a thing called the writing process. Well executed, Hawk.

[Hawkman]

Hi Haunted: nice to see you around :) Thanks very much for reading and enjoying this poem. I'm glad it spoke to you so vividly. Now when are you going to treat us to a poem? Hope you're cooking up something nourishing to the spirit. Look forward to reading it when you're ready to serve.

Live and be well - H

[Haunted]

Ah, appreciated. Working on other things at the moment. I'll return in a few weeks. Keep the good stuff coming so I'll have something to come back to!