Poem by a student at the end of semester

[Chilly]

Oh this paper is such a blight,
Oh what topic should I write?
Oh God bring me some might
So that I may end this fight
SO this paper may be written
So this issue may be smitten
It makes me a small kitten
Who is about to be bitten

Sometimes I am working
Then despair starts lurking
Other-times I procrastinate
--postpone to a later date
The deadline does now loom
And thus I face my doom

[Charles Darnay]

There are worse ways to procrastinate I suppose.

[Calidore]

Suggestions for line 3: "Oh God please bring me some might" or "Oh God bring me some insight" to keep the rhythm.

[hillwalker]

Oh dear.

Lines 7 and 8 are a perfect example of why forcing rhyme onto a poem makes for desperately bad poetry.

H

[Chilly]

Hey thanks for the input, guys! I see what you mean about line 3, and you're right, lines 7 and 8 sound pretty rough. I'll change it up a bit. And I don't mind the criticism, I'm an amateur poet.

[Chilly]

I changed it up a bit:

Oh this paper is a blight,
Oh what topic should I write?

I wish you to be smitten
I wish you to be written

Come God with your insight
Guide me in this dim fight

Help it to be written
Help it to be smitten

[hillwalker]

It's still incomprehensible in parts - simply because you're depending on end rhyme to drive the poem forwards. Poetry doesn't have to rhyme - in fact most aspiring poets make such a hash of using rhyme that it should come with a government health warning.

Why do you wish your paper to be 'smitten'? What do you even mean by the word 'smitten'?

H

[Chilly]

yeah I guess it doesn't make sense to smite a paper. I chose the word because it rhymed with written. That shows that I really am depending on rhyme to move the poem forwards, like you say. I don't have much experience writing poetry that isn't like that though. I'll work on building it around assonance or alliteration instead, or something like that.

[Shaman_Raman]

Burnt out near the end,
of this academic stride.
So close am I,
to June's summer sun,
careless and fun
with topics and papers,
research and labor
far far away
not to come back
until a gruesome
August day.