Adolescent09
04-04-2013, 11:41 PM
The following story was a timed submission for a creative writing class that I am currently taking. I was down to the last minute by the end of the story, so I had to end it quickly. The assignment was very broad: to 'paint an emotional picture with your imagination'. My professor has told me that he will only tell us the grade for this assignment on the last day of class, but I am too angst-ridden. I was wondering what grade you folks might give it for an undergraduate college course:
A Pit of Love to Place a Tomb
by Adol09
At dusk, heaven repainted its face with a coat of red-orange mist. An ocean of due coddled a wheat-filled meadow. One pebble road crossed through it in the middle. Two boys walked together taking turns kicking a can with a coin in it.
"What about that cheese she always loves to cook with?" the older boy asked.
The coin clanked off the sides of its receptacle. It remained inside.
"What is her favorite type of cheese?" the little one replied.
The older boy colored slightly. Grey spots clashed with his red shirt and sky blue trousers.
"She always cooked with the same yellow cheese. You know-Tid, that smelly stuff you hated."
"I can put up with hate. Isn't it the one that made me sick, though?" Tid thought aloud.
"It is her favorite", his brother retorted.
"Why give her a gift that is gonna hurt me?"
"Let's give her something that won't hurt you then," his older brother replied.
"I'll search for something!" Tid was ecstatic.
He ran off the road in search of 'something'. The brother walked on as fog condensed on his face. The path continued. The can stopped rattling. And as far as I know, so did the coin.
A Pit of Love to Place a Tomb
by Adol09
At dusk, heaven repainted its face with a coat of red-orange mist. An ocean of due coddled a wheat-filled meadow. One pebble road crossed through it in the middle. Two boys walked together taking turns kicking a can with a coin in it.
"What about that cheese she always loves to cook with?" the older boy asked.
The coin clanked off the sides of its receptacle. It remained inside.
"What is her favorite type of cheese?" the little one replied.
The older boy colored slightly. Grey spots clashed with his red shirt and sky blue trousers.
"She always cooked with the same yellow cheese. You know-Tid, that smelly stuff you hated."
"I can put up with hate. Isn't it the one that made me sick, though?" Tid thought aloud.
"It is her favorite", his brother retorted.
"Why give her a gift that is gonna hurt me?"
"Let's give her something that won't hurt you then," his older brother replied.
"I'll search for something!" Tid was ecstatic.
He ran off the road in search of 'something'. The brother walked on as fog condensed on his face. The path continued. The can stopped rattling. And as far as I know, so did the coin.