Settling in a Harbour

[free]

Arriving at a harbour
To settle at a low price
I met ghosts from the past
Waiting for me close-lipped

And a blonde haired man
In a canoe out in the ocean
His eyes full of light
Ceremonially invite me

Waving with bird feather
Colorfull in his hand
He points up to the sky
Where a gaint eagle soars

Then, a series of strange happenings
Followed after this, indeed
Like babysitting in a lighthouse
With beams penterating into my soul

What did it all mean
To find the answer
What should one do

[AuntShecky]

[

What should one do

Well, for starters, proofread:

"Colorfull,"

"bird feather" (needs an article, such as "a" or "the")

"gaint"

"penterating"

Then, make your verb tenses consistent. It starts out in the past tense, but the middle of the verse is in present tense, and the last stanza goes back to the past tense: "followed."

The piece could benefit with some judicious and meaningful punctuation, as well. Otherwise, these lines make it seem that the blond-haired man is the subject and "invite" is the verb, and therefore look like an error in S/V agreement:


And a blonde haired man
In a canoe out in the ocean
His eyes full of light
Ceremonially invite me

BUT--If there were a period following "ocean," it would be clearer that "eyes" is the subject, a plural noun taking the plural verb. This is correct (as you have it) but only with clarifying punctuation.

See, there's a method in the madness of the Grammar Police!

[free]

Thank you very much, Aunt.

As for the tenses, I thought to make them consistent, but then I decided to leave them as they were in order to give the poem an atmospere of confusion. This is what the peom is meant to conjure up.