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Lykren
03-26-2013, 06:09 PM
A Fairy Tale

I bit my lip as he smiled. He held out his hand and asked where we were going. The hills slipped by outside the window and I kept my silence and refused to shake his hand. Eventually he turned away to gaze at the landscape, and I did the same.

As we slowly stopped, he seemed anxious. He tapped his left foot and rubbed his jaw. He got out of the car as soon as we were still, and as I followed him I watched him running across the park. After a minute he stopped before a large oak tree. That was where we had played as children. I caught up.

It was still early and there was dew on the grass. We sat down with our legs crossed and both looked in several directions, anywhere but directly in the other’s face. Then I spoke.

“Do you want to move over to the other side?” It was sunnier there. He shook his head.

Two hours later we got up and went in separate directions. As I walked away I tried to discern what had changed. I had never before questioned that where I was was a center of something. But while we talked I had felt, for the first time, numbness, as if somewhere far away there was a tumult I had been removed from. That haziness, which involved me in the morning glow, felt utopian, the opposite of primal, yet not pleasant.

I got home. It was raining. I sat alone in my house, alternating between flipping through old magazines and staring out the window. The music I had playing seemed to gather and disperse without rhythm, it was the junction of warmth and the rain outside, renewal and the ray of time. I blinked.

When I woke up it was dark and I was alert. I ran outside into the damp night and lifted my hands and tried not to breathe too fast, circling around and around the little garden that was walled in with blue stone. The night crept in on every side, and I felt secure.

Thanks very much for your thoughts.

qimissung
03-26-2013, 06:36 PM
It's very poetical, Lykren. I have no idea what it means.

Lykren
03-26-2013, 07:15 PM
I guess I don't either!

Adolescent09
03-27-2013, 06:57 PM
Both of your comments were hilarious. I'll get back to this and try to tell you what I think :D

Shaman_Raman
03-27-2013, 07:23 PM
Is her waking up imply it was all a dream, or just the story progressing?

Lykren
03-28-2013, 12:12 AM
Is her waking up imply it was all a dream, or just the story progressing?

Huh, didn't realize people might think it was all a dream due to that sentence. I just intended it to be a round-about way of showing the narrator had fallen asleep.

In other news, you're the second person to assume the narrator is a woman. I wonder why that is...

qimissung
03-28-2013, 01:29 AM
Both of your comments were hilarious. I'll get back to this and try to tell you what I think :D

I take offense to that, Sir! (I kid)

I think it's that you call it a fairy tale, Lykren; so I just assumed the narrator was a woman.

Shaman_Raman
03-28-2013, 10:51 PM
Huh, didn't realize people might think it was all a dream due to that sentence. I just intended it to be a round-about way of showing the narrator had fallen asleep.

In other news, you're the second person to assume the narrator is a woman. I wonder why that is...



Sorry your right, there's no mention of the narrator's gender. The first line, "I bit my lip as he smiled." gave me the impression it was a love interest, but if you intended for a male to male companionship than my mistake.

Calidore
03-29-2013, 12:37 AM
I thought the same thing, also beginning from the first sentence. Though the third does have a clue otherwise, as the "he" is holding out his hand to be shaken, not taken. But for some reason, much about the way the narrator speaks and acts said "female" to me.