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wikedtik
03-25-2013, 10:35 PM
Hey guys, sorry if this is in the wrong category. I'm doing a poetry project, and I need 10 small easy-to analyse poems, and I need help analyzing my own original poem.


This poem I wrote myself, we had to base it off of the name of a random paint-chip (the paint colors you get for free from Lowes or Home-Depot). I'm only 14, and I'm doing this for a school project, so please no hate. If anyone can help me analyse this, I would appreciate it.

Thunderstorm

Thunderstorm can be scary
Or be very nice
He can be peaceful
Sometimes flashes with light

Thunderstorm can move quick
Or very slowly
He will move how he feels
He is never lonely

Thunderstorm makes people run
Not a lot of them have fun
But that’s not me
I know that you love your son

Thunderstorm is up high
Far in the sky
Makes all other clouds fly
With deep happiness inside

Thunderstorm goes boom
Making people cower in their room
But not for me
I hear your voice
I look up and listen
Feel as I have no choice

Thunderstorm is bright
I see the light
Some people don’t want to
Some don’t want the fight




Thunderstorm is happy
I like to be near it
Almost everyday
With no fear for you
You will help me anyway

Shaman_Raman
03-25-2013, 11:33 PM
For an eighth grade project, I'd say turn it in champ. From my own subjective view, I see the Thunderstorm figure as God, or some spiritual divinity.

wikedtik
03-26-2013, 12:15 AM
For an eighth grade project, I'd say turn it in champ. From my own subjective view, I see the Thunderstorm figure as God, or some spiritual divinity.

Yes, that's the view I was going for for only a select few of my friends (or other people who actually take their time reading it). It's due in about 9 hours (I'm up all night working on the Portfolio), and I think I've analyzed most of this, but I was wondering if someone else possibly could. I can't find too many metaphors or similes, since I kind of just wrote it at first, and then I turned it into a religious view after the line "I know you love your son.". We were just told to analyze it, so I found a lot of personification, but if someone wouldn't mind going over it please.

Shaman_Raman
03-26-2013, 12:38 AM
It sounds like the assignment is to describe what literary elements you can identify in your writing. If that's correct, you should either revise your poem to create more, or do your homework and see what you've got.

One example. You can easily create an oxymoron in any of your first three stanzas. Scary and nice are contradicting, phrase it in a more creative way and concise way.

If you have any thoughts or ideas feel free to post, I'm actually trying to help you.

Shaman_Raman
03-26-2013, 12:50 AM
Hyperbole as well. "Makes all other clouds fly." That's either quite exaggerated or just bad. How does Thunderstorm(God) make clouds fly?

cacian
03-26-2013, 06:40 AM
Hyperbole as well. "Makes all other clouds fly." That's either quite exaggerated or just bad. How does Thunderstorm(God) make clouds fly?

Easy Sir one may blow as the wind does which then conjurs a steady heat of waves which the clouds may take too as they like warmth and so as they approach it they get pushed away instead. Nature imagines clouds to be its radiant sunshine when it rains. One may not have grey at all time but clouds which makes for a perfect background for rain to stand ground. Beautiful indeed.