robotic stalls and royal lords

[cacian]

this is just a piece I have written fell free to take it apart.
This getting on down to some practice. language is basic if I let it and I guess I may never sound English for I am not but I shall sound me because it is for me. Charity starts when I begin. I guess the best acknowlogies come from within if one is able to post. I could not do it before or otherwise. :)

the world is a reared machine to a robotic manifesto. It is perhaps to trend against the many who falters any but it is not going to stand running. I meddle amongst it not with poles blades or swords but with words. Affinity and beyond is called upon to watch and plaud. Spectacular awes derivative stores and immunities form and I sound storm to a whenever robot claws clench or staunch. Towards me it never launches. Bid you horses the natural forces to come and waltz off the robotic crop to a blaze of drops. Amenable is thus thrown fanciful gone and pedagogical told anything thereafter is hault.
To each Robot its forge to glore is to falt. Magic is hoamed it came distaurt and went all sorts. Robot ain't gold it's metal flog. What wrattles melts and what melts pelts but what says stays. enough maize

[DocHeart]

It's publishable. Send it out.

[Lokasenna]

I shall sound me because it is for me

And herein lies the problem. Your work is fundamentally inaccessible, and therefore impossible to critique. Constructive advice or helpful commentary is dismissed by you as a matter of interpretation or, more recently, as thinly-veiled bullying (which it emphatically is not).

If it has beauty and significance to you, then great - but to us it looks like words vomited onto page, dashed out at break-neck speed with no thought and no care. If your linguistic abilitites are genuinely as bad as they seem (and, judging by the mood of the forum and the backlash you are currently experiencing, the jury is very much out on that one), then you should perhaps consider the wisdom of putting your work up for critique on a website that contains many people who take writing very seriously, and are skilled in its analysis. You might also consider the wisdom in creating the number of threads that you do.

As for this piece, I cannot understand it. Whilst it may be for you, it definitely is not for me. Like Macbeth, I can only conclude that it 'full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.'

[cacian]

It's publishable. Send it out.
I write to censor. To show others is delayed but to never obscures. Stampage does not damage ramage does.
This piece is a momentum front dedicated to a society that truly is extravagant in meaningless stance and inaugurations that requires steel to burn and paper to plasticise. It is derivative and written for a demonstration and not a revolution to requiem etiquette and serious bondage.

[hillwalker]

I write to censor. To show others is delayed but to never obscures. Stampage does not damage ramage does.
This piece is a momentum front dedicated to a society that truly is extravagant in meaningless stance and inaugurations that requires steel to burn and paper to plasticise. It is derivative and written for a demonstration and not a revolution to requiem etiquette and serious bondage.

Sorry. None of this ^^^ makes any sense to me. It's like you put some words in a food blender then switched it on.

I'm guessing many writers using English as a second language have similar problems - but in most cases they are merely trying to find some common ground with English-speaking readers.
You, however, have some extremely profound ideas and personal philosophies you are trying to share with us on here. But when you type out responses like this ^^^ no one is going to take you seriously.

H

[cacian]

Sorry. None of this ^^^ makes any sense to me. It's like you put some words in a food blender then switched it on.

I'm guessing many writers using English as a second language have similar problems - but in most cases they are merely trying to find some common ground with English-speaking readers.
You, however, have some extremely profound ideas and personal philosophies you are trying to share with us on here. But when you type out responses like this ^^^ no one is going to take you seriously.

H

Hi hillwalker. I take nothing seriously because life is for joviality camaraderie and lighteness.
I posted a piece because I though I must try something different from poetry. Poetry is a form of expression I consider highly entertaining. The reason I write poetry more is because of its aspect of joviality nonchalancy and above all frivolity. There is air and room to poetry , something we all aspire in our lives, because less is to presentation what rule is to dimension. This reply was in accordance to what I have read in the two posts replying to the OP. I felt that maybe the responses were edgy and rather benevolent.
I posted to place a thought and nothing more and nothing less.
The infrequencies in which the two replies have been sent are rather physically detached.
I more often then none read and comment on works where I pick on meanings and expressions and take it from there.
See a couple of my replies to works posted here by Steven Henley that I thought were interesting. One thing I would not do is lash out and not say much about the piece in terms of jovial or constructive feedback criticism. It is about what is written and not about who is behind it.


[QUOTE=Lokasenna;1209603]And herein lies the problem. Your work is fundamentally inaccessible, and therefore impossible to critique. Constructive advice or helpful commentary is dismissed by you as a matter of interpretation or, more recently, as thinly-veiled bullying (which it emphatically is not).
I am totally taken aback with the ''bullying'' bit. It is the last thing in my mind. I do apologise in advance if that is how I presented myself. I make mistakes and so If I do come across as that it is totally overseen not meant at all. I must pave my way to a better me goodness!!. I did not realise my appearances have caused offence. My apologies yet again.


If it has beauty and significance to you, then great - but to us it looks like words vomited onto page, dashed out at break-neck speed with no thought and no care. If your linguistic abilitites are genuinely as bad as they seem (and, judging by the mood of the forum and the backlash you are currently experiencing, the jury is very much out on that one), then you should perhaps consider the wisdom of putting your work up for critique on a website that contains many people who take writing very seriously, and are skilled in its analysis. You might also consider the wisdom in creating the number of threads that you do.

Perfectly well. I have written what I thought was an innocent piece to an intellectual that I took for granted and obviously it did not fit within the boundaries of what is good and what is not.
My words are due to speak and when they do next they shall recollect what you call linguistically able and take into account forum that is backlashed against me. I guess there is only time that will tell.

As for this piece, I cannot understand it. Whilst it may be for you, it definitely is not for me. Like Macbeth, I can only conclude that it 'full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.'
Understanding is a world of imagination. To understand is to learn and if we have to do it all over again from scratch then I shall we shall.
The only one aspect I wish to enquire is that I understand you not understanding this piece . In meantime I see no pin pointers towards it as direct link to the piece that I may respond to. It is that simple for me to realise a thought into a new clearer one but if you chose not to ask it from a way it is written then I could not tell you anything back about it.
But I am sure the keeness is not there either so it is fair.

[Emil Miller]

Stampage does not damage ramage does.

The combined efforts of T S Eliot, James Joyce and Samuel Beckett couldn't come up with that one.
All the indications are that it's the work of a troll.

[cacian]

The combined efforts of T S Eliot, James Joyce and Samuel Beckett couldn't come up with that one.
All the indications are that it's the work of a troll.

This the work of a troll ? I don't get it sorry.
A troll if I understand would not post a piece then intends to take it apart.
I have yet to meet a troll personally but I do remember being told a story. A children's story about a troll who lives under a bridge.
Or is it the story of Three Billy Goats Gruff and the troll and as far as I know from the story a troll is not human. If we to are abide by the definition of the story because it came first before the computer.

[cafolini]

Understanding means to stand under something. Superstanding means to stand above something. Superstanding is not in most dictionaries because then superstition would be an open subject. We must underf****ingstand your superf****ingstandings whether we like it or not. That must be understood.

[cacian]

Understanding means to stand under something. Superstanding means to stand above something. Superstanding is not in most dictionaries because then superstition would be an open subject. We must underf****ingstand your superf****ingstandings whether we like it or not. That must be understood.

LOL shall I raise my case or should I remain standing?
I shall it raise to case superstanding ain't an option.

[hillwalker]

No one is accusing you of being a bully, cacian, so I don't believe you have offended anyone.

I think what Lokasenna meant is that you give the impression we are bullying you because the vast majority of us can't understand what you have written.

I'll stick my neck on the block here again, purely to enlighten you some more:

In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, resulting in the disruption of normal on-topic discussion. Since most of your responses end up being off-topic and are often incomprehensible can you not see how they undermine rather than promote meaningful discussion?

By all means continue to take part on here - but please for the sanity and integrity of the community in general, try to improve your basic writing skills.

:idea:

I think you would gain more credibility by spending your time reading and broadening your vocabulary than asking pointless questions or participating in on-line contests that won't necessarily make you a better writer.
Obviously, if you have no wish to improve then all our words of support are going to be wasted.

H

[Lokasenna]

No one is accusing you of being a bully, cacian, so I don't believe you have offended anyone.

I think what Lokasenna meant is that you give the impression we are bullying you because the vast majority of us can't understand what you have written.

Exactly.

Whether you are doing it consciously or not, your behaviour is rather troll-like. We aren't offended, and we're certainly not trying to drive you away: what we are asking, in the spirit of meaningful discussion and mutual improvement, is that you think through what you post, and recognize that whilst your posts may be meaningful to you, they are unable to contribute to the discussion because of the difficulty the rest of us have in 'translating' them.