On Being Forgiven

[Lykren]

I wished that I could
change the water
of the lake
so that it would
forgive me, too.

Your words were like
birds crowding together.

They came like sudden heat,
unknown beyond one’s own
body. I put my hand
on my own knee

and bent my head.

[cafolini]

This is a good poem. Forgivance is not the word of some crazy cat alledging God's forgivance. The forgiven one must claim it as a personal gift from His Grace.

[cacian]

the positioned is the forgiven.
the prayer wish is the forgivee
the birds are the serenade
the view never the lieu lure pew.

Interesting poem and thank you for posting.
May I ask why you said:

''I wished'' in the past and not the present as in I wish?
does that mean you no longer wish it forgivenance?

[Lykren]

Thanks cacian.

I put wish in past tense because I wanted the wishing to occur specifically at the moment of forgiveness.

[cacian]

Thanks cacian.

I put wish in past tense because I wanted the wishing to occur specifically at the moment of forgiveness.

Oh I understand. I thought one ask for forgiveness before the actual ie think it or make it public to whoever is granting forgiveness.

[AuntShecky]

I don't exactly know how the specific color of lake water could have anything to do with forgiveness, but other than that, I like the simplicity of this piece.

[Shaman_Raman]

I think that's why no specific color was mentioned, it's a metaphor.

[WolfLarsen]

I like this!

[Buh4Bee]

You write about some provocative subject matter, but this one resonated with me.

This is very sorrowful and it makes me want to apologize...

Great visual image.

[Lykren]

Thanks to all of you for commmenting.