Biggus
03-18-2013, 08:58 AM
I'VE JUST HEARD THE WINDOW CLEANER
I've just heard the window cleaner
He was really making tongues wag
Cursing, shouting and swearing
I think he’d clearly lost his rag
I CAN’T BELIEVE THE SIZE OF MY WATER BILL
I can’t believe the size of my water bill
It’s really getting me down
According to Oxfam for £3 a month
I can supply a whole town
UNDERNEATH THE SPREADING CHESTNUT TREE
Two old retired generals
In the autumn of their years
One was a French Hussar
The other of the Grenadiers
One spoke of conquering Spain
The other one of India
One of conquering the hun
The Frenchman of Canada
The two men argued for hours
People thought them bonkers
But it was quite innocent
They were just playing conquers
SWINGERS
Two couples decided to swing
And swapped partners to play
“That was the best sex ever”
Hugo said afterwards to Ray
His friend agreed and added
“I wonder if the girls are ok”
ARE YOU WEARING CAMI-KNICKERS?
Are you wearing Cami-knickers?
Well might I ask the reason why?
Now they’re deliciously sexy things
Though not really appropriate on a guy
KEY PLAN
I am always loosing my keys
So I have devised a plan
My husband is horrified
As the car might be stolen
But to my way of thinking
It’s the perfect solution
After all what could be simpler
Than leaving them in the ignition
GETTING INTO FLORA
"I want to buy flowers for my girlfriend"
John said to the Florist
"Of course Sir, what is it you're after?"
The florist asks to assist
After a moment John replied
"Well, a shag would be top of my list"
SPICE GIRL
It was the plan of my wife
To spice up our love life
This involved her dressing up
To encourage me to tup
Now I have to say I didn’t mind
Watching her bump and grind
But as she played her sexy role
She didn’t dance around a pole
Nor gyrate upon my lap
To encourage my old chap
But even with all the gyrating
My libido was still hesitating
In fact there wasn’t a glimmer
As she danced around her Zimmer
I've just heard the window cleaner
He was really making tongues wag
Cursing, shouting and swearing
I think he’d clearly lost his rag
I CAN’T BELIEVE THE SIZE OF MY WATER BILL
I can’t believe the size of my water bill
It’s really getting me down
According to Oxfam for £3 a month
I can supply a whole town
UNDERNEATH THE SPREADING CHESTNUT TREE
Two old retired generals
In the autumn of their years
One was a French Hussar
The other of the Grenadiers
One spoke of conquering Spain
The other one of India
One of conquering the hun
The Frenchman of Canada
The two men argued for hours
People thought them bonkers
But it was quite innocent
They were just playing conquers
SWINGERS
Two couples decided to swing
And swapped partners to play
“That was the best sex ever”
Hugo said afterwards to Ray
His friend agreed and added
“I wonder if the girls are ok”
ARE YOU WEARING CAMI-KNICKERS?
Are you wearing Cami-knickers?
Well might I ask the reason why?
Now they’re deliciously sexy things
Though not really appropriate on a guy
KEY PLAN
I am always loosing my keys
So I have devised a plan
My husband is horrified
As the car might be stolen
But to my way of thinking
It’s the perfect solution
After all what could be simpler
Than leaving them in the ignition
GETTING INTO FLORA
"I want to buy flowers for my girlfriend"
John said to the Florist
"Of course Sir, what is it you're after?"
The florist asks to assist
After a moment John replied
"Well, a shag would be top of my list"
SPICE GIRL
It was the plan of my wife
To spice up our love life
This involved her dressing up
To encourage me to tup
Now I have to say I didn’t mind
Watching her bump and grind
But as she played her sexy role
She didn’t dance around a pole
Nor gyrate upon my lap
To encourage my old chap
But even with all the gyrating
My libido was still hesitating
In fact there wasn’t a glimmer
As she danced around her Zimmer