My First Two Poems.

[ScottG]

Void.

[jayat]

Well, I like the image of the second line and the image and the metaphor (I think I'm right with the figures...) in lines 3-4: "he smiled that comforting welcome you had grown to love". Frankly, the rest is weak to me. I also like your style: straight, maybe simple, but that is not opposite to any poetry law by itself, I may say.

Anyway, you do much more than me: trying to restrain or contain lot of meanings in few words finely and smartly, that's it, trying to write poetry. So, good.