Indian Boy
02-16-2013, 03:58 PM
I am currently taking a creative writing course at school and this is the first scene to a story that I'll be working on. If you can, please give me as many comments, good or bad, that you can. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks in advance.
Grady wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing but he opened the office door anyway and walked in.
He forced a half smile at the receptionist behind the desk. “Hi, I’m Grady Wilkes,” he said. “I have an appointment to see Attorney Mario Gardinello at two o’clock.”
The receptionist smiled back and glanced quickly at the appointment book on her desk. She flipped a page, then made a scratch with a blue pen. “Ok Mr. Wilkes, just have a seat and I’ll see if Attorney Gardinello is available.”
“If he’s too busy, I can always come back another time,” said Grady.
The receptionist shook her head. “No, don’t be silly. He is expecting you. It will just be a moment.”
“Oh, ok. Well, thank you.”
Grady took a seat on the couch. He pulled a National Geographic off the coffee table in front of him and flipped through the pages nervously as the receptionist slipped away from her desk. He’d been in other law offices before (once for a criminal OUI and once for an A&B when he was younger) but none of those offices were as nice as this one. Framed pictures of New York, Rome, and Paris hung on the walls providing a touch culture and upper class elegance, something Grady knew very little about. Somewhere off to his left classical music played softly. The conference room across from him was glassed in. Two female lawyers sat at a long table and seemed to explain something to a suited man as they slid documents in front of him to sign. Grady wondered if he’d be sitting in that room with Attorney Gardinello next, listening to an analysis of the legal options he didn’t want to hear. Down the hall to his right was smaller office with the door open. Inside another lawyer paced the room while shouting Italian into a headset.
A young girl carrying a thick folder of documents under her arm crossed in front of Grady. “Are you being helped, sir?” she asked.
“Yes, I am,” he answered. “I’m waiting to see Attorney Gardinello.”
She smiled back, and looked him up and down. “Wow, you must be really important to have a Monday afternoon appointment with Attorney Gardinello.”
“Well, I don’t know if I’m that important.”
“Ok, well you’re case must be important I should say.”
The girl turned to face a fax machine and started pushing documents into the feeder and pressing buttons. The machine began to beep.
“This damn machine is so confusing,” said the girl. “You don’t know how to use this thing do you? I’m an intern, just started here last week and I can’t figure out how this machine works.”
Grady shook his head. “Sorry, office machinery is not my field. If you have a problem with fork lifts and cranes, then I can help you.”
The girl growled playfully. “No, I just a fax problem. But thanks anyway.” She went back to her troubles.
A moment later the receptionist returned and said Grady could go into the last office down the hall.
“Well, good luck with the fax machine,” he said as he walked away, but the girl was too focused now to respond.
When he stepped into Attorney Gardinello’s office Grady was immediately taken back by the gorgeous view. One entire wall of the office consisted of a bay window that overlooked the downtown financial district of Boston and blue skies that stretched out behind the skyscrapers. Below the bay window, boats in the marina hummed their motors in the July sunshine. Grady was so fixed on the view he didn’t notice Attorney Gardinello standing behind his desk.
“Nice, isn’t it.”
Grady snapped out of his trance. “Oh, sorry. Yes, it’s really something.”
Attorney Gardinello stood with neatly combed white hair and glasses, smiling. Grady didn’t know much about fashion but he had an idea that the lawyer’s suit cost more than his monthly rent by the way the grey suit sheened in the sunlight. Behind the old legal sage stretched an impressive wall of international awards and framed diplomas and immediately Grady knew he came to see the right man.
“Mr. Wilkes,” said Gardinello with a casual wave of his hand. “Please. Have a seat. We have a lot to talk about.”
Grady wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing but he opened the office door anyway and walked in.
He forced a half smile at the receptionist behind the desk. “Hi, I’m Grady Wilkes,” he said. “I have an appointment to see Attorney Mario Gardinello at two o’clock.”
The receptionist smiled back and glanced quickly at the appointment book on her desk. She flipped a page, then made a scratch with a blue pen. “Ok Mr. Wilkes, just have a seat and I’ll see if Attorney Gardinello is available.”
“If he’s too busy, I can always come back another time,” said Grady.
The receptionist shook her head. “No, don’t be silly. He is expecting you. It will just be a moment.”
“Oh, ok. Well, thank you.”
Grady took a seat on the couch. He pulled a National Geographic off the coffee table in front of him and flipped through the pages nervously as the receptionist slipped away from her desk. He’d been in other law offices before (once for a criminal OUI and once for an A&B when he was younger) but none of those offices were as nice as this one. Framed pictures of New York, Rome, and Paris hung on the walls providing a touch culture and upper class elegance, something Grady knew very little about. Somewhere off to his left classical music played softly. The conference room across from him was glassed in. Two female lawyers sat at a long table and seemed to explain something to a suited man as they slid documents in front of him to sign. Grady wondered if he’d be sitting in that room with Attorney Gardinello next, listening to an analysis of the legal options he didn’t want to hear. Down the hall to his right was smaller office with the door open. Inside another lawyer paced the room while shouting Italian into a headset.
A young girl carrying a thick folder of documents under her arm crossed in front of Grady. “Are you being helped, sir?” she asked.
“Yes, I am,” he answered. “I’m waiting to see Attorney Gardinello.”
She smiled back, and looked him up and down. “Wow, you must be really important to have a Monday afternoon appointment with Attorney Gardinello.”
“Well, I don’t know if I’m that important.”
“Ok, well you’re case must be important I should say.”
The girl turned to face a fax machine and started pushing documents into the feeder and pressing buttons. The machine began to beep.
“This damn machine is so confusing,” said the girl. “You don’t know how to use this thing do you? I’m an intern, just started here last week and I can’t figure out how this machine works.”
Grady shook his head. “Sorry, office machinery is not my field. If you have a problem with fork lifts and cranes, then I can help you.”
The girl growled playfully. “No, I just a fax problem. But thanks anyway.” She went back to her troubles.
A moment later the receptionist returned and said Grady could go into the last office down the hall.
“Well, good luck with the fax machine,” he said as he walked away, but the girl was too focused now to respond.
When he stepped into Attorney Gardinello’s office Grady was immediately taken back by the gorgeous view. One entire wall of the office consisted of a bay window that overlooked the downtown financial district of Boston and blue skies that stretched out behind the skyscrapers. Below the bay window, boats in the marina hummed their motors in the July sunshine. Grady was so fixed on the view he didn’t notice Attorney Gardinello standing behind his desk.
“Nice, isn’t it.”
Grady snapped out of his trance. “Oh, sorry. Yes, it’s really something.”
Attorney Gardinello stood with neatly combed white hair and glasses, smiling. Grady didn’t know much about fashion but he had an idea that the lawyer’s suit cost more than his monthly rent by the way the grey suit sheened in the sunlight. Behind the old legal sage stretched an impressive wall of international awards and framed diplomas and immediately Grady knew he came to see the right man.
“Mr. Wilkes,” said Gardinello with a casual wave of his hand. “Please. Have a seat. We have a lot to talk about.”