Karella
02-15-2013, 02:34 PM
Hi guys! I'm new to this forum and I'm not a native speaker of English. This is my very first attempt to write an English story, so please read, give me your comments and show me my mistakes. Thanks in advance!
THE GIG
Billy’s back to The Gig again. This cave has become his usual place to come every day. The local here call this cave “The Gig” due to some weird legends about it. Some passers-by at night usually notice that there are some sounds from the cave that’s like somebody is performing music inside. “It’s not really music, though.”, a witness said. “It’s ridiculous. It sounds as if it PRETENDS to be music, but in fact it isn’t. It’s some kind of alien sound – the sound from the outer space.” But perhaps it’s just an overstatement, as the one who claimed that “truth” is often drunk at the time he passes the cave (His wife exclaims every day that her husband always drinks many litres of beer before coming home at night). But The Gig is still weird to many people. It’s even too weird for them to go to the cave to confirm the truth.
Billy has reached the mouth of The Gig. It’s not really true that he doesn’t afraid of the legend that he comes here. It’s also not true at all that he’s a brave boy who always wants to encounter mysterious things. It’s just simply because he placed a bet with his friends on whether he has courage to go to that cave or not. “Discovering” the cave or being beaten by all of his friends. That’s all. And he would rather go to the cave in the hope of returning safe and sound than be beaten black and blue in front of many people, including his beloved girlfriend. She’s the only one who still love this boy – the one who is “grossly obese and completely useless”, as his father always says. Perhaps the only reason for her love towards him is the fact that he’s so bullied by the other boys in town. You can say she feels pity for him. And HE also can say that she feel pity for him, too. But he’s to coward to face the truth. He doesn’t want to lose her.
THE GIG
Billy’s back to The Gig again. This cave has become his usual place to come every day. The local here call this cave “The Gig” due to some weird legends about it. Some passers-by at night usually notice that there are some sounds from the cave that’s like somebody is performing music inside. “It’s not really music, though.”, a witness said. “It’s ridiculous. It sounds as if it PRETENDS to be music, but in fact it isn’t. It’s some kind of alien sound – the sound from the outer space.” But perhaps it’s just an overstatement, as the one who claimed that “truth” is often drunk at the time he passes the cave (His wife exclaims every day that her husband always drinks many litres of beer before coming home at night). But The Gig is still weird to many people. It’s even too weird for them to go to the cave to confirm the truth.
Billy has reached the mouth of The Gig. It’s not really true that he doesn’t afraid of the legend that he comes here. It’s also not true at all that he’s a brave boy who always wants to encounter mysterious things. It’s just simply because he placed a bet with his friends on whether he has courage to go to that cave or not. “Discovering” the cave or being beaten by all of his friends. That’s all. And he would rather go to the cave in the hope of returning safe and sound than be beaten black and blue in front of many people, including his beloved girlfriend. She’s the only one who still love this boy – the one who is “grossly obese and completely useless”, as his father always says. Perhaps the only reason for her love towards him is the fact that he’s so bullied by the other boys in town. You can say she feels pity for him. And HE also can say that she feel pity for him, too. But he’s to coward to face the truth. He doesn’t want to lose her.