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cacian
02-14-2013, 03:27 AM
human diginity
comes with charity
the less we fond
for wants
the more
we let for fun

YesNo
02-14-2013, 07:59 AM
I think I understand the intention, but "fond" is an odd word here. It seems like an adjective rather than a verb. Perhaps "fish", as is harvesting, for our wants might work better. I don't know. Just a suggestion. Also "we let" might be better as "that's left". I liked the first two lines.

krishna_lit
02-14-2013, 10:28 AM
The placement of 'fond' is very interesting in the above lines and makes them new and nice.

cacian
02-14-2013, 01:02 PM
Thank you both very much. YesNo your suggestions are interesting. 'that's left' makes for a different version. I like it.:)