Biggus
02-09-2013, 06:26 AM
I NEED GLASSES
I need glasses
So it would appear
But the glasses I need
Let me be clear
Are glasses of wine
And glasses of beer
WHEN MY GRAN GOT OUT OF BED # 1
When my Gran got out of bed
And suddenly felt chest pain
She knew that she had only
Stood on her nipples again
CHARITY PLEADERS # 1
Just 3 pounds a month
Will help them meet their quota
So the fund raisers can drive
Their 30 grand motor
DON’T THROW IN THE TOWEL
Don’t throw in the towel
When times get tough
Because no matter how bad
No matter how rough
It doesn’t really help
Because you see
Throwing in the towel
Just makes more laundry
THE CARROT CAKE
The Carrot cake
I have to say
You can include
As one of your five a day
SHEEPISH CONVERSE
A sheep bleats in the twilight
As day drifts into night
So I responded in like wise
Much to my wife’s surprise
“Why on earth did you just bleat?
You’re not a bloody sheep”
I replied, “I am not of the country
So it simply occurred to me
That in my humble view
It was the polite thing to do”
LOW EXPECTATIONS
I find that in my life
Low expectations are advised
Because I am rarely disappointed
And often quite surprised
MEMORY MAN
I remember the words
To every number one
Since 1968
Every single one
But for some reason,
Not that anyone cares,
I can’t remember why
I walked up the stairs
I need glasses
So it would appear
But the glasses I need
Let me be clear
Are glasses of wine
And glasses of beer
WHEN MY GRAN GOT OUT OF BED # 1
When my Gran got out of bed
And suddenly felt chest pain
She knew that she had only
Stood on her nipples again
CHARITY PLEADERS # 1
Just 3 pounds a month
Will help them meet their quota
So the fund raisers can drive
Their 30 grand motor
DON’T THROW IN THE TOWEL
Don’t throw in the towel
When times get tough
Because no matter how bad
No matter how rough
It doesn’t really help
Because you see
Throwing in the towel
Just makes more laundry
THE CARROT CAKE
The Carrot cake
I have to say
You can include
As one of your five a day
SHEEPISH CONVERSE
A sheep bleats in the twilight
As day drifts into night
So I responded in like wise
Much to my wife’s surprise
“Why on earth did you just bleat?
You’re not a bloody sheep”
I replied, “I am not of the country
So it simply occurred to me
That in my humble view
It was the polite thing to do”
LOW EXPECTATIONS
I find that in my life
Low expectations are advised
Because I am rarely disappointed
And often quite surprised
MEMORY MAN
I remember the words
To every number one
Since 1968
Every single one
But for some reason,
Not that anyone cares,
I can’t remember why
I walked up the stairs