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01-15-2013, 05:02 PM
Hello everyone, I'm not quite sure what this is. I kind of wrote it as I went and polished it a little bit this morning. Please enjoy and let me know what I can improve.

It was a spheroid, specular and blush colored. Needless to say; Enduring the stress of daylight for countless seasons would fade the pigment of any such thing. It had few functions, but completed them as was expected and did naught else but perform its ordained role. It was making solid contact with the grained dead flesh, shock sending a shudder through the spheroid’s body consequently producing a “paf“ auditory result in the ether and sending the spheroid flying along a curvilinear trajectory leading once again into solid contact with the grained dead flesh.

Paf paf paf traverse the gap.

Paf paf thuck rebound from the barrier.

Paf paf paf traverse the gap.

Vertigo from the lift, the twist, the fall.

Paf paf paf traverse the gap.

Paf paf thuck rebound from the barrier.

Paf paf paf traverse the gap.

Vertigo from the lift, the twist the fall. The grained dead flesh was arid and drab. It would complain for every change of significant inertia and was groaning languidly about the approach of the sovereign presence to which all did pay heed. Until arrival was complete; the loop of traverse and rebound reiterated undaunted, for performing this loop was the purpose of being for the spheroid, not feeling pain, nor sorrow, nor joy. The gift of those experiences, especially the latter, was reserved for the entity entitled power over the spheroid. The duration and schedule of said experiences were always as long as needed for it to be dictated that all needs had been fully satisfied.
The sovereign presence appeared within the threshold and gazed upon the diminutive world below as all activity halted in honorable audience to the paramount countenance, requisitions were made and expected to be followed without stray.
The spheroid rotated listlessly as the transaction occurred; its function did not include the means to know that it had been mentioned, nor to feel pity at the perceived unfairness of the proclamation that had been administered. Barely was it noticed by anyone involved that it had been commandeered by the cosmic power bequeathing to all the lowest point of their immediate reach, this and the oblique nature of the grained dead flesh resulted in the spheroid crawling it’s way ever so slowly on a course that lead to the darkest void and would be punctuated by a thuck so inaudible that it would not be perceived beyond the confining space of said void.
When the transaction was done and the requisitions made, the sovereign presence made leave and the entity entitled power over the spheroid traversed the gap and assumed prostrate domicile upon the spongy platform. This is where it would remain until the burning heat of daylight seared through the expanse, betraying the presence of ambient detritus that would rather remain hidden in the shrouding absence of light. This exposure of the detritus revealed its dancing undulations, choreographed by the gentle passing of the imperceptible ether.
The change in illumination prompted the ascent of the entitled entity and subsequent exodus which rent a temporary breach in the soft expression of radiant daylight upon the features of the grained dead flesh. This radiance was making it's slow advance upon many recesses, performing a periodic invasion of spaces hidden from immediate perception including the dark void within which the specular blush spheroid hid. Its refuge was so deeply ensconced amongst the abnegated fibers and particulate soil that it not suffer the abusing burn of the questing radiance. This is where it would remain, forgotten by most, for all eternity.




Thank you for reading!

FatElvis
01-15-2013, 05:38 PM
I really appreciated the lack of humanoid characters in this - that's personally something I hope to reach in my own work someday. In addition your punctuation and use of language is at a higher than average point.

For me, personally, the only problem I have with this is I just don't find it particular interesting. Could you maybe describe something that's very unusual, then take the time to examine small pieces of it?