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Cioran
01-09-2013, 03:22 PM
A few months ago, I published the draft opening chapters to a novel that I had begun, "Eternity Invasion." I later found out that this was a bad idea, because for some inane reason publishing fiction on the Internet makes agents/publishers less interested in publishing the works as books.

Anyway, the novel is completed and edited, and I intend to send it to agents. I thought maybe I could get some feedback on the draft cover letter. Any thoughts appreciated. If any agents and/or publishers actually DO read these threads, I have four completed novels, with a fifth, sixth and seventh on the way. They're all terrific. Please drop me a private message if you'd like to learn more. Thanks, Cioran.

The letter:

Dear agent,

Enclosed are the first five chapters of a novel, Eternity Invasion.

In November 1963, shortly after the assassination of President Kennedy, a massive orb is spotted in the sky, 25 light years distant and heading for earth. Radio broadcasts from the object begin, promising death from the sky in a sea of fire for all of earth's inhabitants, except for a select few who will be granted eternal life in exchange for eternal slavery. The invaders are to arrive in 2013, fifty years hence.

The novel bounces back and forth over this fifty-year period, focusing on the lives of several subjects, and on the theme of how humans would react if the whole world were placed under a death sentence with no apparent hope of reprieve.

The principal characters include:

Julius Pick, an effete Jewish intellectual and secretly gay, a devotee of male prostitution and the underground sadomasochism scene, who is catapulted into unexpected (and unwanted) fame and fortune by penning a pretentious article for an obscure philosophical journal holding that the invaders do not really exist, but are a Jungian psychic projection of the wounded world soul. The claim is embraced by millions desperate to stave off extermination.

Norma Jean Baker, who either is a Marilyn Monroe impersonator or the real Marilyn who faked her own death in 1962. She is a bag lady selling off Marilyn memorabilia when she meets Pick in New York City, launching a bizarre dalliance that ends in marriage at home plate in Yankee Stadium in 1980 before millions of TV viewers worldwide.

Howard, aka the Dream Maker, aka Charles Zugzwang, chess grandmaster and serial killer. He grants wishes to his victims and then kills them, reasoning he is doing them a favor because everyone is going to die anyway when the Others arrive.

Latisha, a bargirl in the Nevada desert near the iconic Area 51, a maroon-haired, tattooed, live ball of energy and sex who is dying to live before she has to die prematurely. She is Zugzwang's latest target for dream granting and then death, but an unexpected twist skews his plans and promises salvation for everyone when Zugswang undertakes a chess game with the invaders for the biggest stakes imaginable.

Barclay Savors, a mentally disturbed, millionaire hermit living in poverty in New York City, but collecting artifacts left behind by advanced scout ships of the invaders with the intention of earning immortality from them, even at the price of eternal slavery, by showing his inventiveness in mastering their advance technology. His hubris ends in a labyrinth of madness.

The president of the United States (and his advisers) who is never named, but who is a parody of George W. Bush. He must guide, with what resources he has, America's actions as the aliens draw nearer. His advisers seek inspiration in Magic 8 Balls and yarrow stalks, while the president constantly gets his fingers tangled up in multi-colored balls of yarn suggesting ultimate futility.

This alternative history novel incorporates the real-life great events and personalities of the era 1963-2013 through the prism of an alien invasion that promises a sea of fire except for the chosen, a secular parody of religious thought. The lives of the principals eventually intertwine as the clock ticks down to Armageddon: New Year's Eve, 2012. The fireworks begin at midnight.

The novel is about 90,000 words long. Thank you for your consideration.

Emil Miller
01-09-2013, 03:33 PM
Parodying George W Bush sounds like the easy part although nobody does it better than George.

AuntShecky
01-09-2013, 04:40 PM
For what it's worth, I'll tell you what I know about literary agents. Before you even begin to approach one, you must do some research in order to find out which literary agents are accepting new clients and which are not. Secondly, make sure you know exactly what the specific agent's speciality is; for instance, you would be wasting your time sending a proposal for a science fiction novel if the agent only deals with children's books.

Once you think you have a list of agents who might consider looking at your work, always find out what the specific agent requires in an introductory letter. Believe me, not all of them want to see full chapters before they read the outline, though some require both. Never send an unsolicited manuscript to an agent unless he or she gives you the okay.

Your cover letter should state your qualifications. Certainly you should include a list of previous publications, writing awards, academic background. If you have acquired knowledge of the topic for your book through work or life experience, you could include that, as well as a brief description of your academic background.

The best way to acquire the services of a literary agent is to have an established author recommend you to one. So if you personally know a successfully published author, have him or her put in a good word for you. That's the quickest way to get your proverbial foot in the door.

hillwalker
01-09-2013, 04:44 PM
I think there's a subtle difference between a query letter and a synopsis. You seem to have two for the price of one here - not the best approach.

Each agent has their own submission guidelines - some want a letter plus single-page synopsis plus the first 5000 words - some want a detailed, chapter by chapter summary plus the first three chapters, etc. If you deviate from each special requirement you give them an easy excuse to reject your submission without even reading it.

Looking at this as a query letter, it's far too long. Most query letters should give the basic plot in three sentences or less (where you also introduce the main characters and identify the genre). If you think that's an impossible task then you're going to fall at the first hurdle. Agents expect writers to be able to condense their plot this way. It's a taster - and shows how clearly and concisely they are able to write.

I'll also be surprised if you find any publisher willing to risk everything on a 90,000-page novel by an unknown writer. Again it seems long for a first novel. But again there's enough information out there to enable you to select a sympathetic agent I'm sure.

As for this particular letter: Where do I start?
It's complicated and covers too much ground because you're trying to overwhelm the agent with your marvellous creation. Dazzling an agent is, however, not the way to go. You're making a business proposition after all not promoting a pop video.

To pitch your first novel in particular you have to keep it simple. The agent doesn't want to read about the grand themes or the intriguing back-story and rich cast of wonderful characters. All he wants to know is what's the story about, who is it about, and who you are. Do you have any writing experience? Any work published? Any favourite writers that you wish to emulate perhaps.

The opening sentence might begin:

I enclose the first 5 chapters of ETERNITY INVASION (90,000 words) - a science fantasy novel for adults incorporating real-life characters and events.

But I can't help you any further because your plot is unwieldy the way you present it here - nor is the focus on one main character. There are so many plot strands and such a variety of participants that I fear you're somehow going to have to compromise at this stage. Pick two, or at most three, characters and crystallize the plot as it involves them into two or three sentences.

If you're including a synopsis as well then a single A4 page is usually considered the maximum length (no more than 500 words). Even then I think you have your work cut out because you seem to be keeping the plot under wraps. In a synopsis you have to reveal as much of the storyline as possible.

H