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Emil Miller
01-08-2013, 07:58 AM
A concrete strip some six feet wide
Between a wall and flower bed
And bordered on its furthest side
By a painted wooden shed
Was once quite white but now is grey
For surely as night follows day
All things must age and even sand
Won't time's corrosive passage stand
Its surface now though cracked and worn
Is firm enough on which to tread
Past rhododendron bush forlorn
That stands within the flower bed
The feline footfall all unheard
By the insect seeking bird
Or the heavy booted tread
Of gardener walking to the shed
A child with a coloured ball
That bounces off the red brick wall
To all of these the concrete holds
As it has done for many years
Ignoring potted marigolds
And aching backs and children's tears
Supporting soles of those who walked
Upon its surface as they talked
Whose souls are all that now remain
To haunt that strip of concrete plain
And sometimes when I lie abed
I dream of that old wooden shed
And nameless beings haunt the space
To work and play or stand and stare
Upon the concrete where they pace
Before they pass to God knows where.

cacian
01-08-2013, 12:39 PM
Emil this is a very cool piece.
One of my favourite lines:

Is firm enough on which to tread
Past rhododendron bush forlorn
That stands within the flower bed

Emil Miller
01-08-2013, 02:34 PM
Emil this is a very cool piece.
One of my favourite lines:

Is firm enough on which to tread
Past rhododendron bush forlorn
That stands within the flower bed

I'm glad you like it.

Paulclem
01-08-2013, 04:41 PM
I like the poem Emil - not just because it's on about sheds. The description is evocative and is imbued with the sadness of passing time, which is reflected in the leisurely pace it sets, and the rhyme. I've read it three times, and liked it more on each reading.

Paulclem
01-08-2013, 04:45 PM
By the way - I saw your addition to my poem- which was good, but I forgot to respond.

Lokasenna
01-08-2013, 06:14 PM
I like your use of the imagery here. There's a pathos that stops the images from seeming twee or over-sentimentalised.