Checkmate

[Twota]

My eyes rapidly move
between white and black.
I feel my forehead burning
under her silent observation,
she's reading my thoughts
through my eye movements.
A rook, a knight, a pawn,
Black, white, and black again.
My swollen brain foresees
the results for each move;
My loss in three turns,
another move makes it five.
I see it inevitable, my loss.
She knows it's over
but she likes the game.
She will devour me slowly,
one piece after the other,
and I just can't wait
to hear her say - Check Mate
instead of - Your Move.

[Delta40]

This was a little all over the place yet the chaotic suspense which built up corresponded excellently with the closing lines Twota. Well done.

Not sure about: else buys me more time.

[firefangled]

I'm also not comfortable with "else buys me more time." I did like what seemed like a Thomas Crown Affair seduction under it all, N being the receiver and then the capitulation at the end.

Good poem.

[hillwalker]

I think this would be much better if you considered trimming it. There's a lot of restrained 'tension' that doesn't lead anywhere. And, overall seduction as a game of Chess is an old cliche. You don't take it anywhere new. Unless she really does eat her victim.

H

[Twota]

Delta and fire, glad you both like it. :D
I removed the hated line. :3

hill, I will try trimming it as much as I can :D and LOL, she doesn't really eat her victim D= that would make a weird poem tho. =O

[Twota]

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[hallaig]

I like this, but as someone else has said, it would be improved by judicial trimming. Get rid of 'to conquer her confidence', and the 4 lines that begin 'they all conquer my soul
and wipe away my act'. These don't sound like English idioms anyway and they add nothing to the piece that's not there already.
replace 'swollen brain' with I?
Poem would be ended in a much more satisfactory manner if it ended on the second last line- Checkmate.

[Twota]

hallaig, I am glad you like it :D

Your recommendations make a whole new poem LOL, but yes, now that you pointed some lines out I feel they are useless too, I will remove the confidence lines. Thanks. :D