Companion

[JackBarrattPoet]

He stands behind me
With a scythe
Spewing benediction
Over my back
He utters few sounds
And he has been blinded
By sights of avarice and dominion
My companion

He seizes me
By the wrist
And I feel him
Compel me
Into a cessation
So pure and clean
Granting entrance to
Self mastery

He learned in the sewer
The same knowledge
That men toil year after year
In towers to gather
But the bricks can only
Cover the hollow
And they embalm
Camouflaging the sorrow

He marries serpents
And carries vespers to god
Harbinger of life
An ever enlightened sod
Inspiring love
To flourish and grow
Cleaning the black canvas
Of life alone

My companion offers
A way out of the banal
A method to be free
And at ease
To create a tapestry
Rich and unspoiled by me
He cleanses the disease
Called being

[cacian]

I like this piece very much but I think for me words such as:

spewing/sewer/marries serpent/disease.They are words that evoke unpleasantness to me. The cleaner the language the better the poetry feel for me. That is my opinion.

''He cleanses the disease
Called being''
Again this is a negative loaded comment that is untrue to many of us and so I picked on it because it is not true to me and I am sure to many others.
''Being'' is a celebration of life and one feels humble to be alive or be part of life.
This piece is graphically enticing and very truth to life and reminds of people I know. I like its honesty and tragedy at the same time. However a found relief at the end means it is important for the poet and the reader to show some kind of solace and enjoyment with words rather then reality.
I hope this is OK.