Prose Poem: Casanova

[Alexander III]

Its walls white and gold.

[Buh4Bee]

I am using my school teacher enthusiasm to say that this is the most brilliant prose poem I have ever read. Well done, indeed!

[Buh4Bee]

Sorry, now I have regret and guilt, I shouldn't have, but I was overcome.

[Alexander III]

I am using my school teacher enthusiasm to say that this is the most brilliant prose poem I have ever read. Well done, indeed!


Sorry, now I have regret and guilt, I shouldn't have, but I was overcome.

I am not quite sure what to make of that.

[blank|verse]

Nicely done, AIII. Short but sweet. There's a strong influence of Wallace Stevens and / or Symbolism in the use of colour; the narrator's tone has a Stevens-esque feel to it as well, a slightly distanced, reflective tone, and the phraseology, eg: 'it sings because its life is a song', which is nicely achieved. Although on second thoughts, I wonder if it's a bit out of keeping with the subject, with whom one associates the picaresque and episodic (despite not being fictional, of course), rather than the contemplative; but then again, why not approach it from a different angle?

Perhaps you could be more specific with the phrase 'some field of a certain colour' which seems distractingly vague on re-reading. Also, should the reflexive pronoun be 'itself' rather than 'himself' as its antecedent is the gender-neutral 'a being'?

I wonder why Casanova has 'white wings' though; white has connotations of innocence, which you wouldn't associate with the subject. Interestingly, though, we have red, white and blue colours, which strikes a rather nationalistic note, and perhaps invites speculation about whether America is being suggested / personified here. Maybe it's too fanciful to read the references to 'Apollo' as relating to the moon landing in this context…

… particularly because the poem also seems to owe a debt to Keats's 'On First Looking into Chapman's Homer', something triggered by the phrase 'or sees a new planet amongst the stars is happy' which reminded me of:

Then felt I like some watcher of the skies
When a new planet swims into his ken;

A few lines earlier there's also a mention of Apollo ('Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold'). However, I don't think that either of these things really detracts from the poem.

You might consider 'among' rather than 'amongst the stars' – the two 'st' morphemes together make it difficult to read. And earlier in the poem, I wasn't keen on the line 'The simpleness of a song sung', partly because the previous phrase, 'it sings because its life is a song', is stronger, partly because 'song sung' is awkward in the mouth, and partly because (and maybe this is a transatlantic thing) I want to say 'simplicity' not 'simpleness'.

And I like the idea of using 'reverie' as both noun and verb, but I'm not sure it works as a verb; or rather, maybe it would work just on its own. You might also like to choose just one preposition from the phrase 'down along the river'.

Anyway, my only other criticism is that it's too short and seems to end too abruptly. You have a good feel for the rhythm of prose poetry, utilising shorter sentences to effect ('He is happy', 'He knows joy') so maybe you could extend the piece somehow…

[WolfLarsen]

In its simplicity and joy and rhythm this is a very good poem!