reality

[cacian]

the real me
is never pris
what is however
ironically
is that
the truth about
the me
is absolute
totally free
without it
one could never be
the real me
is timelessly

[DocHeart]

Mother of all that's good and sweet.

[YesNo]

I didn't understand what "pris" meant, but like the rhyme. I like the idea of a transcendent reality in the content. I would replace "one" with "I" in the third to the last line to keep emphasis on the first person, and "is" with "so" in the last line for grammar, but I might be misinterpreting something. I always enjoy the sound of your writing. Best wishes.

[cacian]

DocHeart thank you for reading. I am glad you think this one is alright.

YesNo I thank you so much for the feedback.
'pris' means 'taken' in French.
About the changes do you mean like this in this version?

the real me
is never pris
what is however
ironically
is that
the truth about
the me
is absolute
totally free
without it
I could never be
the real me
so timelessly

[DocHeart]

I *didn't* think this one was alright.

I apologize for cutting in. I'm going away now.

[cacian]

I *didn't* think this one was alright.

I apologize for cutting in. I'm going away now.

*sigh*. Never mind.