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Catamite
12-19-2012, 07:58 AM
Soon it will be authentic winter, soon
slow and delirious white will blush upon green
and smother roads infatuated. Cars will be deadened
at the curb. I will walk with the most sturdy shoes
and a thick scarf, etc.
My friends will clutter their beds with their lovers,
what else but graceful and generous excuse is snow?
Those who find the excuse too dreary to seize
with their partner shall long for spring.
Already, another year sending its veil; deliberating
on blues and greys. I am apart in my own deliberations;
I long for a spring of all springs. To be glad
to watch the snow as children are to dash it;
to know a hundred springs, but not enough
the new-bloomed bough.

Charles Darnay
12-19-2012, 11:14 AM
Some nice imagery, but this is basically prose. Also, I don't think the tense shifts work for you here.