R4WTHUNDER
12-18-2012, 01:28 PM
When you ask someone what hollow mean's you may get a ton of different mean's for one simple word.Hollow empty nothing inside this may be the true meaning for a simple word but i'm about to let you know what this simple word mean's to me and what it can do.
What hallow mean's to me is my heart my body my soul these are a couple thing's that are hollow they are empty no meaning anymore.On may 21,2012 i felt my life had meaning that there was somthing there sure i may not have had a job but i had my kid's a home i had my wife.Then on the night of may 22,2012 this all changed i lost my wife she said she didn't love me anymore.This is what hollow mean's to me no hug's no more no watching her sleep anymore no seeing her smile no matter how big or small it was.Just to think at night when she would want to cuddle to me i would tell her no i'm to hot what a jerk now i find myself begging just to ride in the same car as her or even just walk down the same street as her.
I find myself begging for just a month to see if i can somehow fix what i have ****ed up and i get "HOLLOW" answers.Some poeple are scared of death of being killed nah those are simple thing.I'm scared of never hearing the words i love you from the person that mean's so much to me scared of the thought that some other man may hold my angel in his arm's a little tighter then me scared of what i have done to her without a chance to make thing's right.These are some of my fear's in my life fear that a promise i made to a dieing man 16 1/2 years ago i fail on these are fear's.
I have found out there is no cure for hollow other then maybe fixing what made this heart hollow.I often sit at night or while driven semi and remeber the day's when thing's were better i look at a picture of you when you were 15 that you gave me saying i love you forever and alway's for the rest of your life.Then i ask well was may 22,2012 the rest of your life? I have tryed everything i can to try to bring you back to me and it was all wrong i wish i knew when this all started what to do.A few day's ago you asked me wernt all the little chance's the same as a big chance well i need to let you know that they were not i was blind didn't want to hear your word's so it took getting kicked in the balls to open my eye's so this big chance is the most important thing.I understand you have been a mother since young and i have been an ******* since young.I want to see your smile again i want to try to battle life with you again i want to be that sholder you can cry on when life has you down i want to be the one that when our day's on earth are done i want to be the one to hold your hand and say my goodbye's to this world.I understand this is alot of i want's and it is but i also want to make all your dreams come true i want to be side by side with you on your track through life.
Thing's may not change even if we give it one last shot but with the psycich's the last two weeks and grama talking and me praying you never know.I want you to know i may still have a few more dance's with the devil and i'm not as good as i'm gonna be but i'm better then i use to be.I will make this promise on everything i love and that mean's anything to me if it don't work i will not trow a fit when we have to go our own way's i will find a better way to deal with it.I will not nor do i want to stop you from being you at all it just feel's like we need to give it one last shot and do it open minded and one day at a time..
What hallow mean's to me is my heart my body my soul these are a couple thing's that are hollow they are empty no meaning anymore.On may 21,2012 i felt my life had meaning that there was somthing there sure i may not have had a job but i had my kid's a home i had my wife.Then on the night of may 22,2012 this all changed i lost my wife she said she didn't love me anymore.This is what hollow mean's to me no hug's no more no watching her sleep anymore no seeing her smile no matter how big or small it was.Just to think at night when she would want to cuddle to me i would tell her no i'm to hot what a jerk now i find myself begging just to ride in the same car as her or even just walk down the same street as her.
I find myself begging for just a month to see if i can somehow fix what i have ****ed up and i get "HOLLOW" answers.Some poeple are scared of death of being killed nah those are simple thing.I'm scared of never hearing the words i love you from the person that mean's so much to me scared of the thought that some other man may hold my angel in his arm's a little tighter then me scared of what i have done to her without a chance to make thing's right.These are some of my fear's in my life fear that a promise i made to a dieing man 16 1/2 years ago i fail on these are fear's.
I have found out there is no cure for hollow other then maybe fixing what made this heart hollow.I often sit at night or while driven semi and remeber the day's when thing's were better i look at a picture of you when you were 15 that you gave me saying i love you forever and alway's for the rest of your life.Then i ask well was may 22,2012 the rest of your life? I have tryed everything i can to try to bring you back to me and it was all wrong i wish i knew when this all started what to do.A few day's ago you asked me wernt all the little chance's the same as a big chance well i need to let you know that they were not i was blind didn't want to hear your word's so it took getting kicked in the balls to open my eye's so this big chance is the most important thing.I understand you have been a mother since young and i have been an ******* since young.I want to see your smile again i want to try to battle life with you again i want to be that sholder you can cry on when life has you down i want to be the one that when our day's on earth are done i want to be the one to hold your hand and say my goodbye's to this world.I understand this is alot of i want's and it is but i also want to make all your dreams come true i want to be side by side with you on your track through life.
Thing's may not change even if we give it one last shot but with the psycich's the last two weeks and grama talking and me praying you never know.I want you to know i may still have a few more dance's with the devil and i'm not as good as i'm gonna be but i'm better then i use to be.I will make this promise on everything i love and that mean's anything to me if it don't work i will not trow a fit when we have to go our own way's i will find a better way to deal with it.I will not nor do i want to stop you from being you at all it just feel's like we need to give it one last shot and do it open minded and one day at a time..