Leaving her child in a forest

[twist]

Gathering her skirts , so torn and frayed

Her last farewell she bade

As she left him in the glade

Through the forest he saw her fade

As in his basket he was laid

And in his innocence he played

in the shade

of leaves red, golden, brown and jade


Never knowing why she delayed

Never knowing why she delayed

[Charles Darnay]

this is a very good case of the need for rhyme trumping everything else. A good trick, if you are going to write a rhyming poem (and if you are that is fine) is to re-write it for yourself without the rhymes. If it reads poorly without the rhymes, as this one does, then you know that the rhyming will not save it.

[hillwalker]

Twist,

Are you being serious?

H

[Delta40]

Last line should read: This poem needs first-aid! :D C'mon Twist!

[twist]

It's an old one. I was rhyming words with glade on the way to school and thought of it. Someone liked it recently so I thought I'd post it. Sorry!

[Delta40]

We still love you Twist...

[hillwalker]

It's an old one. Someone liked it recently.

Perhaps they need to increase their medication.

H