munchou
12-14-2012, 12:56 PM
Hi everyone !
I am a French teacher (of French), which obviously means I am (or should be) interested in some forms of literature.
I wrote a fable 2 days ago that I called "The salmon and the otter" (Le saumon et la loutre). As I find it pretty interesting, I wanted to translate it in English to share it. I'd like to illustrate it as well :)
The thing is, I wanted to keep the rhymes at all cost (I consider verse being one of the properties of a fable - but it's just an opinion) as well as the original meaning, I did some slight changes, but anyway feel that some parts have quite a strange translation.
There is not a true moral but an edifying point that is obvious enough not to be told. At least, I let readers free to understand it as they wish. Interpretation is one of the funny things we got in Literature ^^
Also, I have added some notes explaining how I see things and what I want to say that you probably cannot understand because of a not good enough translation or because of words not well enough chosen.
(If there are French, I can of course post the original one to help)
---------------------------------------------------------------
The salmon and the otter
A day like any other for Mister salmon
Who was swimming very very fast to reach the horizon.
The stream was such that he was treading water,
Then it is that came to talk right in his front an otter :
"- Hello, motivated salmon friend !
An indiscreet question to you could I spend ?"(1)
Focused and in full effort, the salmon consented
And so the otter did : (2)
"- I see you exhausting yourself, navigating and fighting.
Why so much pain ? Where are you aiming ?
- Madam, the aim of such a journey
By swimming may I say,
Through thick and thin,
Day, night or evenin',(3)
Is neither just to suffer
Nor that of exhaustion am I a death eater,(4)
But I want to go straight there to find a refuge,
To escape this place, its mayhem is too huge.
You who are well off, can you understand me ?
The life I am living heren is not at all easy.
- You ain't the first I ask that,
And I note that you and your fellow haven't understood yet
The dream you're hunting
Is such that yellow circle that is just reflecting."
The salmon, upset, speeded up the pace
And in all those swirls the otter threw her ace.(5)
We never saw again this brave fishy
But for sure we could see he did a blessed belly.
(1) the idea is "ask a question", but I need an "-end" rhyme, I thought about "send" but "spend" gives a funnier meaning (in my mind at least :p )
(2) ="the otter asked" : same here -_-
(3) The original text is "Night or day" but I needed a "-in' " ending
(4) Perhaps the weirdest part... The idea is "Nor from exhaustion to die". Or maybe should I write "Nor that let exhaustion to be my heart-ripper" that I think is more understandable and still poetic enough.
(5) she took her chances.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for reading.
I do hope it is understandable and looks English, and that you enjoyed it.
Do not hesitate to criticize and tell me what sounds weird.
I am a French teacher (of French), which obviously means I am (or should be) interested in some forms of literature.
I wrote a fable 2 days ago that I called "The salmon and the otter" (Le saumon et la loutre). As I find it pretty interesting, I wanted to translate it in English to share it. I'd like to illustrate it as well :)
The thing is, I wanted to keep the rhymes at all cost (I consider verse being one of the properties of a fable - but it's just an opinion) as well as the original meaning, I did some slight changes, but anyway feel that some parts have quite a strange translation.
There is not a true moral but an edifying point that is obvious enough not to be told. At least, I let readers free to understand it as they wish. Interpretation is one of the funny things we got in Literature ^^
Also, I have added some notes explaining how I see things and what I want to say that you probably cannot understand because of a not good enough translation or because of words not well enough chosen.
(If there are French, I can of course post the original one to help)
---------------------------------------------------------------
The salmon and the otter
A day like any other for Mister salmon
Who was swimming very very fast to reach the horizon.
The stream was such that he was treading water,
Then it is that came to talk right in his front an otter :
"- Hello, motivated salmon friend !
An indiscreet question to you could I spend ?"(1)
Focused and in full effort, the salmon consented
And so the otter did : (2)
"- I see you exhausting yourself, navigating and fighting.
Why so much pain ? Where are you aiming ?
- Madam, the aim of such a journey
By swimming may I say,
Through thick and thin,
Day, night or evenin',(3)
Is neither just to suffer
Nor that of exhaustion am I a death eater,(4)
But I want to go straight there to find a refuge,
To escape this place, its mayhem is too huge.
You who are well off, can you understand me ?
The life I am living heren is not at all easy.
- You ain't the first I ask that,
And I note that you and your fellow haven't understood yet
The dream you're hunting
Is such that yellow circle that is just reflecting."
The salmon, upset, speeded up the pace
And in all those swirls the otter threw her ace.(5)
We never saw again this brave fishy
But for sure we could see he did a blessed belly.
(1) the idea is "ask a question", but I need an "-end" rhyme, I thought about "send" but "spend" gives a funnier meaning (in my mind at least :p )
(2) ="the otter asked" : same here -_-
(3) The original text is "Night or day" but I needed a "-in' " ending
(4) Perhaps the weirdest part... The idea is "Nor from exhaustion to die". Or maybe should I write "Nor that let exhaustion to be my heart-ripper" that I think is more understandable and still poetic enough.
(5) she took her chances.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for reading.
I do hope it is understandable and looks English, and that you enjoyed it.
Do not hesitate to criticize and tell me what sounds weird.