Biggus
12-14-2012, 08:43 AM
SHOPS IN THE HIGH STREET
Shops in the high street
Are full to overflowing
With irate customers
Franticly to-ing and fro-ing
The shopkeeper delights
While prices are rocketing
Happy in the knowledge
Of the profits he’s pocketing
And in his smug contentment
He rubs his hands with glee
“Merry Christmas you mugs
And a prosperous new year, for me”
MITHRAS
Mithras was a pagan faith
Older than we can remember
And the festival was held
Towards the end of December
Thank God it’s been replaced
By the festival of Christmas
Otherwise we’d have to wish
Everyone a merry Mithras
THE GIFT I MOST WANTED
The gift I most wanted
Was the sweetest girl
With a generous heart
A smile to banish darkness
And a warm and tender soul
To make all of my
Christmas dreams come true
But it wasn’t to be
Because I ended up with you
CRIMBLE LUST
I have a large bunch of mistletoe
And you are on my Christmas list
But I will carefully pick my moment
I don’t want to do it when you’re pissed
Because with my bunch of mistletoe
I want you to know that you’ve been kissed
SOAP TRADITION
Christmas is all about traditions
But they evolve across the years
Some fall from favour all together
Then new ones seem to appear
This is certainly the case
Of one of the more recent traditions
To the familiar Christmas fare
The TV soaps festive additions
This is when the tired old plot line
That’s simmered away since June
Suddenly explodes in your face
And not a moment too soon
A QUIET MAGIC DESCENDS
Oh how a quiet magic descends
Upon the streets on Christmas day
As it’s the one day of the year
The shops are closed all day
CHRISTMAS DAY FOR THE POOR
Christmas day for the poor,
Hold very little surprise
For them it’s just another day
In a sparkling disguise
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 7
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well surely its self evident
It takes a great deal of effort
To achieve the necessary merriment
And no man is capable
Of that level of commitment
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 8
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well there’s no evidence yet
But ask yourself if a man
Would choose to wear red velvet
WHATEVER FUTURE GIFTS
Whatever future gifts
That might make me glad
Or any from the past
Including when I was a lad
There is nothing to compare
To the gift of being a Dad
NOW THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS # 2
Now that it's Christmas
It makes me kind of glum
To do all the things
I used to do with mum
But when I feel her beside me
Then I don’t feel so glum
Shops in the high street
Are full to overflowing
With irate customers
Franticly to-ing and fro-ing
The shopkeeper delights
While prices are rocketing
Happy in the knowledge
Of the profits he’s pocketing
And in his smug contentment
He rubs his hands with glee
“Merry Christmas you mugs
And a prosperous new year, for me”
MITHRAS
Mithras was a pagan faith
Older than we can remember
And the festival was held
Towards the end of December
Thank God it’s been replaced
By the festival of Christmas
Otherwise we’d have to wish
Everyone a merry Mithras
THE GIFT I MOST WANTED
The gift I most wanted
Was the sweetest girl
With a generous heart
A smile to banish darkness
And a warm and tender soul
To make all of my
Christmas dreams come true
But it wasn’t to be
Because I ended up with you
CRIMBLE LUST
I have a large bunch of mistletoe
And you are on my Christmas list
But I will carefully pick my moment
I don’t want to do it when you’re pissed
Because with my bunch of mistletoe
I want you to know that you’ve been kissed
SOAP TRADITION
Christmas is all about traditions
But they evolve across the years
Some fall from favour all together
Then new ones seem to appear
This is certainly the case
Of one of the more recent traditions
To the familiar Christmas fare
The TV soaps festive additions
This is when the tired old plot line
That’s simmered away since June
Suddenly explodes in your face
And not a moment too soon
A QUIET MAGIC DESCENDS
Oh how a quiet magic descends
Upon the streets on Christmas day
As it’s the one day of the year
The shops are closed all day
CHRISTMAS DAY FOR THE POOR
Christmas day for the poor,
Hold very little surprise
For them it’s just another day
In a sparkling disguise
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 7
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well surely its self evident
It takes a great deal of effort
To achieve the necessary merriment
And no man is capable
Of that level of commitment
IS SANTA CLAUS REALLY A WOMAN # 8
Is Santa Claus really a woman?
Well there’s no evidence yet
But ask yourself if a man
Would choose to wear red velvet
WHATEVER FUTURE GIFTS
Whatever future gifts
That might make me glad
Or any from the past
Including when I was a lad
There is nothing to compare
To the gift of being a Dad
NOW THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS # 2
Now that it's Christmas
It makes me kind of glum
To do all the things
I used to do with mum
But when I feel her beside me
Then I don’t feel so glum