The Blues

[Pete Ak]

The Blues tell stories;
Breathe them.
Pain, expression, feeling.
Blues is the truth
A world reflected
Sing them, kneeling.

I had the blues
to my roots
When I had no boots
And wandered through Nowhere Street
But they melted away
On the revival day
I met a sinner
who had no feet.

[cacian]

Wow Pete this truly a brilliant piece. The last stanza especially is surreal powerful. I enjoyed it. :)

[twist]

Beautiful and I love the reference to The Rose Garden of Sa'di. Thanks for posting, Pete.

[Pete Ak]

Thanks guys; Twist, I'm especially grateful for the reference, I couldn't remember where I'd come across it!

[hillwalker]

I think you mean 'Breathe' in line 2.

Not much more I can say about this - a little simplistic (maybe because 'to my roots/When I had no boots' comes across as another example of the determination to rhyme putting words in the writer's mouth that could be expressed so much better).

H

[Jerrybaldy]

Your passion came across, but agree with Hill about forced rhyme ( he is often impossible to disagree with). Liked the ending.
JB

[Pete Ak]

H & JB thanks for commenting... Needless to say I expected some comment on the rhyme, (I had 'blues' and 'shoes' originally). Obviously I hoped it wouldn't detract from the poem and will continue to try and write such that rhyme doesn't detract. I know I'm not there yet but the fact that, for example, the way I've used 'away' and 'day' & 'street' and 'feet' seem more acceptable encourages me. Thanks all.