Biggus
12-12-2012, 08:29 AM
ARE YOU WEARING A SANTA HAT?
Are you wearing a Santa hat?
A festive little “tit for tat”
Well it really does suit
In fact you look very cute
Are you wearing it for fun?
Or do you have it set at anyone?
I think it looks very twee
I wish you were wearing it for me
ARE YOU WEARING PLAITS?
Are you wearing plaits?
Seriously though are you
You’re going to wear plaits
To the annual Christmas do
And dressed as a milk maid
Perhaps Scandinavian born
You look like you’re dressed
For 1970s porn
ARE YOU WEARING A SPRIG OF MISTLETOE?
Are you wearing a sprig of mistletoe?
Are you hoping to meet a beau?
And kiss him passionately in the snow
An embrace to leave you all aglow
Is that why you wear the mistletoe?
ARE YOU WEARING REINDEER ANTLERS?
Are you wearing Reindeer antlers?
Well not the most original twist
You’ve been making rather merry
More Christmas spirit than you could resist
What exactly am I suggesting?
A little too much wine would be the gist
What makes me think that?
Well I’ll tell you if you insist
Apart from the slurred speech
You are walking with a starboard list
And your antlers sit in disarray
So that’s how I know you’re pissed
ARE YOU WEARING A SANTA OUTFIT?
Are you wearing a Santa outfit?
Does it come with all the kit?
The boots and beard and hat
And padding to make you look fat
I didn’t believe in Santa anymore
Now I see you and I think phwor
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS DRAWERS?
Are you wearing Christmas drawers?
I would like a look at yours
I bet a pound to a penny
You’re not wearing any
There we have it at last
You are as I thought bare arsed
Of course it makes you look loose
Even if you have an excuse
Well that really is shocking
You’re supposed to hang a stocking
ARE YOU WEARING TINSEL?
Are you wearing tinsel?
Draped about your figure
Like a festive feather boa
Just covering your treasure
How seductive you appear
A little package of pleasure
You dance and prance
So full of vim and vigour
Now let me pull the tinsel
Then you can pull my trigger
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS HOSIERY?
Are you wearing Christmas hosiery?
Phwor are you going to let me see
Oh how they cling to the shape of you
I would like to cling to them too
Oh yes I like them very much
Perhaps I might have a touch
Oh you are a proper tease
Would you let me if I said please?
Are you wearing a Santa hat?
A festive little “tit for tat”
Well it really does suit
In fact you look very cute
Are you wearing it for fun?
Or do you have it set at anyone?
I think it looks very twee
I wish you were wearing it for me
ARE YOU WEARING PLAITS?
Are you wearing plaits?
Seriously though are you
You’re going to wear plaits
To the annual Christmas do
And dressed as a milk maid
Perhaps Scandinavian born
You look like you’re dressed
For 1970s porn
ARE YOU WEARING A SPRIG OF MISTLETOE?
Are you wearing a sprig of mistletoe?
Are you hoping to meet a beau?
And kiss him passionately in the snow
An embrace to leave you all aglow
Is that why you wear the mistletoe?
ARE YOU WEARING REINDEER ANTLERS?
Are you wearing Reindeer antlers?
Well not the most original twist
You’ve been making rather merry
More Christmas spirit than you could resist
What exactly am I suggesting?
A little too much wine would be the gist
What makes me think that?
Well I’ll tell you if you insist
Apart from the slurred speech
You are walking with a starboard list
And your antlers sit in disarray
So that’s how I know you’re pissed
ARE YOU WEARING A SANTA OUTFIT?
Are you wearing a Santa outfit?
Does it come with all the kit?
The boots and beard and hat
And padding to make you look fat
I didn’t believe in Santa anymore
Now I see you and I think phwor
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS DRAWERS?
Are you wearing Christmas drawers?
I would like a look at yours
I bet a pound to a penny
You’re not wearing any
There we have it at last
You are as I thought bare arsed
Of course it makes you look loose
Even if you have an excuse
Well that really is shocking
You’re supposed to hang a stocking
ARE YOU WEARING TINSEL?
Are you wearing tinsel?
Draped about your figure
Like a festive feather boa
Just covering your treasure
How seductive you appear
A little package of pleasure
You dance and prance
So full of vim and vigour
Now let me pull the tinsel
Then you can pull my trigger
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS HOSIERY?
Are you wearing Christmas hosiery?
Phwor are you going to let me see
Oh how they cling to the shape of you
I would like to cling to them too
Oh yes I like them very much
Perhaps I might have a touch
Oh you are a proper tease
Would you let me if I said please?